Why So Much Conflict?

A few thoughts before I go to bed.

I read an email message today that I regularly receive from a wise man. It sparked some thoughts about conflict. Read the statement from Graced Again by Tom Wood, Church Multiplication Ministries, a non-profit, whose mission is starting, strengthening, multiplying grace-centered churches through consults and coaching church planting pastors, leaders and emerging leaders.

Then read my thoughts and see what you think.

“A special faith in our Lord Jesus Christ’s person, work and office is the life, heart and mainspring of the Christian character. He sees by faith and unseen Saviour, who loved him, gave Himself for him, paid his debts for him, bore his sins, carried his transgressions, rose again for him, and appears in heaven for him as his Advocate at the right hand of God.

He sees Jesus and clings to Him…..He sees his own many sins, his weak heart, a tempting world, a busy devil; and if he looked only at them, he might well despair. But he sees also a mighty Saviour, an interceding Saviour, a sympathizing Saviour—His blood…..His righteousness, His everlasting priesthood—and he believes that all this is his own.

He sees Jesus and casts his whole weight on Him. Seeing Him, he cheerfully fights on, with a full confidence that he will prove more than conqueror through Him that loved him…Habitual lively faith in Christ’s presence and readiness to help is the secret of the Christian fighting success fully.”

by J C Ryle, Holiness

Why did I write what I did as a result of this powerful statement?


We are all deeply broken, deeply flawed and blind to our sinful natures. Sin is not just "skin deep" but bone deep. Our flaws seep out of every pore and every possible action step we take including our thoughts.

To make matters worse, we actually think we can live without sin and expect others to be sinless. If they don't we grow angry, attacking and judgmental. The slightest mistakes, errors, sin or misstatement by others allows us to think we are superior and unleashes a deeply felt desire to crush our former friend, spouse or child. We attack because the weak, sinful and error prone person deserves our wrath and so we unleash our shame, guilt and punishment on him or her without mercy and certainly without grace.

Why are Relationships Important?

Does this post title sound ridiculous? Do you think everyone believes that caring relationships are better than bad relationships? I suppose most people would SAY they embrace and affirm warm, caring relationships but in the real world we don't act that way.

I admit that I often wince when I watch TV political talk shows or listen to radio talk shows. I especially wince when the person that is going on and on is mean spirited and callous. They may think their cruel statements are motivational but they are not.

I am even more upset when I hear or read about people claiming to be Christian Ministers or Christian Leaders whose language and actions are contrary to that which the Bible commands. The Bible clearly says, "Let nothing come out of your mouth that does not build people up." Yet, words from the pulpit are often not up-building or gracious.

I have sometimes tried to encourage my friends with a dragon tongue to change their language about people with whom they disagree. It is a very difficult task but if there is an opening I attempt to share what the Bible says about love, kindness and patience.

I know of one instance when I was successful. A group of us were discussing the Florida man who claimed to be a minister but was threatening to burn a Koran. One commentator quoted the Bible incorrectly to say that Jesus would have killed a Muslim if one had come to Him. I wrote back and mentioned that there were no Muslims until 700 A.D. so suggesting that Jesus had such an attitude toward Muslims was bogus. Second, I mentioned the times that Jesus told us to love our enemies let alone an outsider. The man wrote back and said he was wrong and would never attack Muslims again.

In Matthew 5, Jesus said:

21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[b][c] will be subject to judgment.

Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’[d] is answerable to the court.

And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

As I read these passages I am struck forcefully by Jesus' warning not to attack another person in anger, bitterness and character assassination. The wages of this kind of sin are still the same today as they were in the time of Jesus.

Hide the Resurrection?

see my new blog Spiritual Healing and Growth for a post on those who try to deny the resurrection.

First American Awakening 1730-1830

1730-60: Weakening of predestination doctrine; recognition that many sinners may be predestined for salvation; introduction of revival meetings emphasizing spiritual rebirth; rise of ethic of benevolence.

1760-90: Attack on British corruption; American Revolution; equality of opportunity (accepted inequality of income & circumstances of life as natural, held that persons of low rank could raise themselves up—by industry, talent, perseverance, and right behavior—to top of the economic/social order); established egalitarian ethic.

1790-1830: Breakup of revolutionary coalition

Old Friends Meet Again at EMI Banquet

 

Gary Sweeten and Steve Sjogren. Steve is the founder and first Pastor of the Vineyard movement in Cincinnati. Gary and Steve are good friends who have encouraged one another to greater love, greater power and greater truth.

Steve is presently in Florida stimulating Baby Boomers to reach their worlds. Steve has with God's grace and power, overcome tremendous medical obstacles to preach the good news and build God's Kingdom.



Gary Sweeten and Amel Whittaker at the EMI 30th anniversary banquet. Amel is a family therapist in the San Francisco area. He has been a good friend and teacher of the Life Skills Materials for many years.

Three Doctors Graduating in 1975

 

From left to right are Gary sweeten, Dick Towner and Gary Penfield, all getting our Ed. D. Degree the same day in 1975. We worked together under Dr. Bill Nester and we were each involved at College Hill Presbyterian Church.

World Religions

While I am thinking about religion and it consequences, let me ruminate very briefly about the recent trend in the West to worship nature. There are essentially only four models of religion.

I. Secular Humanism-The notion that nothing spiritual or transcendent exists. We are locked in a closed system of space, time and energy. All things that occur can be explained as "Uniformity of causation in a closed system". There is no God, Spirit or intervening force outside us so there is no such thing as a conscience, morals, ethics, healing, etc except those we design ourselves.

II. Pantheism-This is the opposite of Secular Humanism. God is everywhere and in everything. The moon, stars, trees, dirt, bees, crickets and weeds are sacred. This view tends to worship Mather Earth. (Notice that the term is capitalized.)Eastern mysticism of Hinduism, Confucius, Buddhism, etc are Pantheistic.

III. Greek Dualism-There is a God and also nature but the two do not interact. Spiritual matters do not belong in daily life.

IV. Judah-Christian Holism- God created all things and humans in His image. In God we live and move and have our being. The Holy Spirit is with us and in us at all times.

I will post more here and upload some papers to my web page.

Gary Sweeten

Legacy!

How do you want to be remembered? That question was asked of Jonas Salk several years after he had developed the Polio Vaccine. The answer he gave surprised me but it makes sense at the same time. He said, "I want to be remembered as a great ancestor."

Wow! That is heavy. I love his answer because that is my goal. I am a father of two kids and Grand Father of four. I want them to grow up with healthy lives, strong Christian family values and using all their gifts, talents and develop skills to add value to the well being of the world. I cannot control those things, of course, but I can plant seeds and develop systems that foster them.

This was the topic I spoke on tonight at the chapel service at Mason Christian Village. The scripture I chose was Hebrews 12:12-15

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

The writer starts out by giving us his goal of healing, peaceful relationships and holiness so we can see God at work in our lives. That is a very impressive set of goals. Overwhelming, in fact. How can it be done? What is required of us? How much education, money, hard work and striving is it going to take for these things to occur? See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

It will require God's Grace. Not Gary's striving but Christ's finished work and the power of the Holy Spirit. Now THAT'S good news.

I Need Another Funeral

I was able to attend a wonderful funeral/memorial service this week for an old friend and boss. Bill Nester died and his funeral at St. Timothy's Episcopal Church on Beechmont was the site of a wonderful, spiritually uplifting service.

First of all, it was liturgical and thus full of beautiful words, wonderful prayers and powerful scripture verses. Unlike the church of my childhood and my preferences today, a liturgical church leaves one breathless and inspired.

Second, there was Holy Communion. Hearing those wonderful words of consecration and taking the body and blood of Jesus provided a special inspiration for me.

Third, there is no doubt that Jesus Christ was Lord and that we are able to meet Him in heaven if we accept that truth. Unbelievers did not go away wondering if Bill Nester was an agnostic or spiritualist. The entire service made his faith in Christ plain.

Fourth, I was reminded of my own mortality and my need to serve Jesus while I can.

Thanks be to God for His wonderful reminders.

The Pressure of Culture

I had a great conversation today with Amy R. She works with women at Horizon Community Church and has a great ministry.

We chatted about the pressure we feel in our culture because of the Matrix-like nature of the ungodly aspects of our world. Perhaps it is no worse than in other times but we live in our times.

Another friend in ministry, Mark Lutz of the "Big Vineyard" described it best. He said something like, "It is like wrestling with one of those huge guys in Japan who weigh 300 pounds. All they have to do is lean on me and it wears me out. I get so tired of fighting the weight of the cultural sin."

I thought of that today when I heard that Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett had died. I had just spent most of my day at a Celebration of the Resurrection for Bill Nester. Dr. Nester had been my boss and mentor at the University of Cincinnati during mys six years on the staff. He was a giant among educators. He impacted multiplied thousands of young men and women, many of whom have gone on to be great educators and counselors themselves.

His life and death will not be noticed by many in the Matrix Media at Fox, CNN or ABC. They are obsessed with fame, fortune and notoriety not lives well lived. But Bill Nester did more, much more to elevate the level of thinking, nurture and the common good than all the movie stars and rock stars combined.

Obituary of Dr. William Nester

Dr. William R. Nester, the first chancellor of the University of Nebraska at Kearney and former vice president at the University of Cincinnati and Ohio State University, died Wednesday morning surrounded by his family at Hospice of Cincinnati in Anderson Township, following a long illness.


A longtime resident of Anderson Township, he moved to Bellevue about a year ago. He was 81.

"Dr. Nester was a wonderful teacher and friend," said Bill Keating Jr. of Mount Lookout. They had remained close since Dr. Nester was Mr. Keating's faculty adviser at UC back in the early 1970s. "He led by example and had a positive influence on all of us who had the honor to work with him over the years. Bill's influence will continue to benefit our community for generations to come."

A Cincinnati native, Dr. Nester was born on Feb. 19, 1928, to William Nester Sr. and Evelyn Nester. He grew up in Evanston and graduated from Walnut Hills High School. He held a bachelor's degree in education, a master's in counseling and guidance and a Ph.D. in higher education administration, all from UC. As a student he was a member of Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity and later served as its national president. He was also a member of Sigma Sigma, a service organization.

Dr. Nester also held honorary doctorates from Northern Kentucky University, the University of Nebraska at Kearney and UC. He received the William Howard Taft Medal for Notable Achievement, the highest honor given annually by the UC Alumni.

He had a 26-year career at UC, starting when he became director of the Student Union in 1952. He later served as dean of men, dean of students, and senior vice president for student and academic affairs.

In 1976 he became a founding member and first president of the Metro Six Athletic Conference.

Dr. Nester moved his family to Columbus in 1978 when he became vice president of student services at OSU. In 1983 he became the seventh president of Kearney State College. He led the college's move into the University of Nebraska system and became the first chancellor of UNK.

In September, the university named the newest section of its "Living and Learning" complex after Dr. Nester.

He returned to Greater Cincinnati after retiring in 1993. Since then he has worked in administration and fundraising at Northern Kentucky University and served on the UCATS board.

A lover of jazz, he also hosted two programs on WOBO radio - "Fascinating Rhythm" and "Swing Time."

His wife of 55 years, Mary Jane Grossman Nester, died in 2005.

Survivors include: four sons, William Nester III of Fresh Meadows, N.Y., Mark Nester of Cumming, Ga., Brian Nester of Cincinnati, and Steve Nester of Maineville; and seven grandchildren.

A celebration of his life is 11 a.m. Thursday followed by a lunch and reception at St. Timothy Episcopal Church, 8101 Beechmont Ave. Anderson Township.

Memorial gifts are suggested to Nester Family Scholarship Fund, University of Cincinnati Foundation, P.O. Box 19970, Cincinnati, OH 45219.

Many people call themselves mentors today but few can really pull it off. Bill was able to really mentor yourng men and women and people all over the earth remember him with gratitude today.

Gary Sweeten

A Giant Passes into Glory

Dr. Ralph winter, one of the most influential Christians in history and certainly in the modern era, went to meet Jesus face to face yesterday. Go to this site for a video and overview of his work.

Many years ago Karen, Julia, Timothy and I went to Pasadena where Dr. Winters was building The US Center for World Missions. They were just taking over the campus of an old Christian college in Pasadena that had been rented for some years by an Eastern Cult. The place was filled with evil spirits and I taught them how to clean the place up before moving all those studentsand leaders into the buildings.

Ralph and his wife Roberta were brilliant and cutting edge on ways to reach the world with a special emphasis on Unreached Peoples. Roberta is the very first person I ever saw who took a laptop with her to take notes at conferences and meetings. The story is that Ralph learned his theology lessons by reading and listening to roberta tell him what was said in class and she learned because she attended and did all the papers. That may be true or not but it would not shock me either way.

How to Communicate Effectively

I am still learning how to communicate. My friend Michael Cristiani has discovered a net technology that turns cold, hard numbers into visuals and makes the data come alive.

One of Michael's links is for Gapminder, a Swedish Professor's way of visualizing information that is amazing and insightful. I suggest you go to the link and enjoy how he presents his insights.

Michael also links to a site that uses Tableu technology to show his insights. It is fascinating.

I hope Pastors and Christian leaders will begin to use these technologies to train Believers how to track changes and how God is working in our midst. I am hoping Michael can train us to use Tableu to show the results of our research study on the felt ways we can support parents with special needs kids. Take a look at our updated web site to read more about the project.

www.sweetenlife.com

Seminar on Faith History

 

May 28 was a great day to interact with God and one another while learning about ourselves. The all day seminar led by Jens-Petter Jorgensen, our dear friend from Norway, touched deeply the hearts and souls of sixteen Christian leaders who sacrificed a day to grow in the love and fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

We received positive comments from a high percentage of participants. Most wanted more on this topic so they can lead others in the sam process.

Go to www.sweetenlife.com for more about us.

We shall follow up with other day long events to facilitate the growth and healing of lay and ordained leaders. Send your suggestions for topics to gary@sweetenlife.com

Systems Change

I received this pithy note from Jim Donovan who is heading our "It takes a whole village" research process. He is a genuine expert on called, "Anthropological Action Research" and that is what we are doing. This kind of research focuses on a few persons and does in depth, interpersonal interviews about some subject. For example, in looking at products, they would look at who eats chocolate, why they eat it, when they eat it and so forth.

Our research is choosing twelve families with special needs kids. We will visit them and ask all sorts of questions about their strengths, needs and stresses. Although it is obvious to everyone that a sickly member effects the entire family rarely has anyone looked carefully at how they are affected or what kinds of support they want and need. In fact, the Medical Model essentially ignores the parents and family members to focus exclusively on the child who we call, the "Identified Patient".

By ignoring parents the system refuses to engage the people with the most expertise. Parents live with and think about their child all day and all night. They know what works and what will not work to help the child.

Failure to follow medical advice is one of the greatest barriers to being helped by professionals. Yet, many who practice a form of the medical model ignore the very people who must agree with the treatment; parents.

Sweeten Life Systems respects and values the entire family and will do our best to engage them in the solutions to their problems.

Here is Jim's note to me.

Dear Gary,

I know Buckminister Fuller is one of you favorite persons.

When reading the book ‘Crowdsourcing’ he was quoted. “To build a new system you don’t compete with the old one, you build a new system that makes the old one obsolete.” Maybe this is what we are facing with the special needs families.

Jim

That is it! The entire system must change. Pray for us to show the world how to change an inadequate system.

Gary Sweeten

Great Relationship

Over the past few days I have spoken with several people whose lives were deeply touched and liberated through the materials we called, Rational Christian Thinking. It is all about building a great relationship with God, self and other people by applying Christian truth to my thoughts.

It is hard to love God if my ruminations about the Father are all messed up and distorted. Yet this is exactly what so many dedicated Believers face on a daily basis. If I have a deep commitment to God but also harbor Stinking Thinking about His character, it can drive me into depression and anxiety.

I have ministered to many Bible believing Christians who suffered from high anxiety and emotional distress because they were convinced that God was sitting in heaven watching their every move to see when a sin was committed just so He could punish them. This sets up a horrible Double Bind making it impossible to live in joy.

What do you think will be the result if I try to love God and know I need to draw close to Him yet I also believe He takes great pleasure in causing me pain? How will that habit cause me to feel in the long run?

I am reminded of the fictional father who placed his little child up on a high cabinet and said, "Jump and I will catch you." The child did and his dad let him fall and hurt his legs. Then the father said, "See what happens when you trust someone."

Many Christians have been trained to think that the Heavenly Father is like that man. He is constantly setting us up to fail just so He can then punish us for failing or sinning.

When I was teaching the residents in our in-patient units I often heard them say that this was what they expected from God. I replied, "If I had that kind of God I would also be depressed. But I have joy because my Father is a loving Daddy who cares for me and gives me a life of abundance."

What kind of Father do you worship? Go to our web and read the materials for downloading. www.sweetenlife.com

Prayer is Good for Us

Two researchers at the University of Cincinnati have found data that supports what we who believe experience daily, God is good. No wonder we call it "Good News".

Way back in the Seventies I started studying the relationship between health and faith. Now, modern research methods have allowed us to see that being spiritual adds more to longevity than exercise and many other health building activities.


Go to my web site and buy my books for more good stuff.

Gary Sweeten

Equipping Volunteers to Help

I just taught a group of thirty Christian leaders today about the importance of getting themselves and others ready to minister with love. Here is a very brief summary.

The acrostic that serves as a foundation for helping others can be seen in the word GREW.

Genuineness-This requires us to know ourselves and what motivates us to help others. I did an Doctorate in Counselor Education in 1975. My research showed me that the key to helping others was no my knowledge or beautiful advices but how I treated them when we interacted. In order for me to build trust and open communication, I had to come across as a real person not a fake.

Genuineness means that:

I know my own thoughts and feelings
I can name my thoughts and feelings
I can manage my thoughts and feelings
I can share my thoughts and feelings

So, if I am nervous when I talk with others I need to recognize the feelings and know from where they arise in my thought promise. I cannot be very helpful unless I am aware of my onw needs and temptations.

It has been my personal experience that 75% or more of the men and women who want to be trained as Helpers do so because of fleshly, selfishly drives. Unless the training helps students understand the genesis of those selfish desires, the Helper will spread more trouble rather than facilitate health. (See my web page for more information.)


Gary Sweeten
Enjoying the frozen beaches of Tjome, Norway

Back to Norway

I left Cincinnati Sunday night and arrived in Oslo through Paris on Monday. The Charles Degaulle Airport in Paris is cold, uncomfortable and crowded, to say nothing of very expensive. I could have paid about $8.00 for a cup of coffee but saw that coffee and a sandwich and a brownie were only $13.50 so I went the cheap route.

But I arrived safely in Gardemone Airport and Jens-Petter was there to offer his care and support. My jet lag is not bad at all and the Jorgensen's bed is terrific. Thanks to Marie Theresa who is studying in Barcelona.

We went to the Parliment yesterday with a personal tour led by Dagfinn Hoybroten, head of the Christian Democrat Party. Dagfinn and wife Joren spoke at our first Significance Center Kickoff last summer.

I speak tomorrow, Friday and Saturday on: A lifetime of great relationships". I am excited to be back with the people I respect and love.

It is late and I am tired.

Gary Sweeten

Needed: Entrepreneurs

Christians must stop thinking like those in Sixteenth Century European villages. The focus back then was to raise up a few educated Priests and Pastors who would tell the village what to think, what to do and what to eat.

The situation has completely changed since the Dark Ages and the Protestant Reformation. It is time we started thinking about how to raise up thousands of Spirit filled entrepreneurs to fill the seats of science, education, medicine, politics and business. Gone are the days when a local Priest was the only person who could read and write or who had travelled outside the village walls.

Take a look at the video on leadership by the Washington Post. It clearly lays out a model for us to follow and I am expecting the Seasoned Believers of the world to lead the race.

Gary Sweeten

Satisfied?

It is hard to be content. St. Paul said that he had learned to be content despite the circumstances, and let's fact it, Paul had CIRCUMSTANCES!

I find it easy to complain even when my circumstances are pretty good compared to most people. I am spoiled and like it that way.

I have noted before that there has been a ten fold increase in the diagnosis of depression and anxiety since 1900. Maybe the times we live in now are worse than back then. From 1900 to 1950 there was WWI, the flu epidemic killed over 20 million young people, a worldwide economic collapse put some 30% of US citizens out of work.

WWII killed 50 million people and the Korean War, the cold War and international tensions between the USSR and the USA led many in America to build nuclear shelters in their back yards. Stress? You betcha.

Let's face it, world conditions are not sweet and peaceful but life is much better now than in 1900. In fact, we live twice as long now as then. The lack of resilience. People in earlier times expected times to be hard and they expected to bounce back. They "Took a licking and kept on ticking."

Here is the ART of Peaceful living.

A-Adversity is real, daily and to be expected. Adversity is not God's punishment or always my failure. Resilience is important.

R-Renew my mind. Take Pessimistic Thoughts Captive.

T-Trust God. He will care for us.

See my web page tor more materials.

Gary Sweeten