Book Now On the Web

I am publishing many of our writings on the web. E Books are easier to distribute, cheaper to develop and available to a much wider audience. I currently have several papers and two books available on the Sweeten Life ministry web site.

The first book we published online was Healing Souls, Touching Hearts. It is a summary of some of our most personal and passionate beliefs about ministry, caring, counseling and healing. Steve Griebling and I wrote it while we were teaching regularly in Singapore on the importance of Cell Groups. In many ways it is the slogan for all the major ministries we have founded and directed.

The second book by Steve and myself, Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty, is designed for those who are called to be Peer or Para Professional Helpers. It is, in fact, very powerful for even Professional Therapists because so few get really great practical training in Graduate school. In this book you will find and integration of counseling research and Bible truths like you have never seen before. If you are involved in trying to help people make good decisions, read Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty.

These are easy to download and it is easy to donate to Sweeten Life Systems, if you are so inclined. We hope that http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=8208149333766966737 people all over the world will use these books. They are great tools that God has developed for us. Now we can more easily spread the good news of Jesus Christ and His abundant life through the Internet.

Go to the web page and then to Resources and take a look.Download a book and some other materials such as the check lists we wrote for anxiety, depression and marriage satifaction. We also provide a paper that help Pastors and Peer Helpers know when to refer to a Professional.

A Model of Healthy Growing Churches

There are few congregations that seem to understand what is necessary to build a church that actually transforms Unbelievers into Believers who are fairly functional and above average in mental, emotional, relational and physical health. In fact, it seems to me that there are few Christian leaders who even think such a thing is possible or even desirable. Otherwise there would be Ministers and Elders clamoring for someone to show them how to accomplish growth and healing.

The little image above is an attempt to draw interlocking and overlapping circles that show the major dimensions of church systems. Overall we can think of a church as being system of systems. Each system and sub system has different roles and different goals.

First the church is a Hospital for broken, wounded, fallen and falling Christians. A hospital means that the hurting people come to a place where there are well trained and loving people who will assist them in getting better. Every born again Christian has birth defects that can be healed but healing and growth requires a great deal of hard work, expertise and prayer.

Second, the church must be a school. Every other system depends upon the school system to train people who can carry out their jobs with insight, wisdom and skill.

A church is also an army that must be well trained to repel the enemy of our soul and occupy the Kingdom of God.

At the center of all is the family that provides new babies, care, love and nurture.

All there activities are ongoing and concurrent. When every part works together the congregation becomes a healing-growth community.

Gary Sweeten Day in Cincinnati

 

This is a photo of the proclamation by Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory making October 2 Gary Sweeten Day in Cincinnati. It was a great blessing and honor to have EMI go to all the trouble to have the Mayor make the proclamation.

The Mayor also made Sunday, October 3 College Hill Presbyterian Church Day in Cincinnati for founding EMI and its predecessor, the Teleios Center, and supporting EMI's national and international ministries for thirty years.

Reflection on Ministry

As I reflect on the last thirty years of ministry I am struck with how much Christian leaders and ordinary lay people are begging for practical Life Skills and how few seminaries train Ministers in their use. The research from all kinds of Helping Professions, including Ministry, indicates that the core of facilitating the growth and change of others lies in our ability to listen to, respect and care for people.

I recently read that only 13% of change in therapy comes from pills, psychological interventions, teaching and therapist theories. All the rest comes from caring relationships with family, friends, and the Helper. So, whether you are a Teacher, Psychiatrist, Pastor or Hair Dresser, learn to listen to your clients and your family members.

Love covers a multitude of sins.

The Truth Sets us Free

I just re-read my last post and asked myself why I get to lathered up when I see what I believe to be hokum, B.S. and distortions of truth. I would like to say that it is because I want to follow Christ as the author of truth but that would be false humility.

It is probably because it is an important part of my temperament. On the Myers-Briggs I am an NT. That means I see things through a prism of iNtuism and apply what I see by analysis and systems' thinking. My whole life I have been drawn to apply analytical reasoning to what I see.

This does not mean that I am always right even though I rarely think otherwise. Just ask my family and friends. In fact, the NT Personality can be summarized as, "Often wrong but never in doubt". I am usually pretty sure that my opinions are correct.

So, when I hear things that seem to me to be bogus, invalid, rumor and based on false assumptions I sometimes react strongly. That is what happened when I read some statements by Left Wing actors and politicians about the towers being dynamited by Mr. Bush so we could go to war with the Muslims.

The entire premise and accusations of the people who claim such a conspiracy theory are like Red Bull drinks. They are stimulants that cause me to really pop off. (I know they do not really MAKE me do anything. I am making myself get frustrated and want to straighten these people out. I would really like to blame these people but I am making myself miserable all on my own.)

So, I am confessing my weaknesses and failures. I admit I get impatient and grouchy with such persons. At those times I do not "FEEL" a liking for them. Please be patient with me; God is not finished with me yet.

People Want to Meet Personally

Recent research has reportedly confirmed what I have been saying about the need for personal relationships. Take a look at this article.

Adult women are especially interested in getting together.

Face Book, Twitter, etc just don't satisfy like drinking tea together.

Ministry for the Long Haul

While in Norway I was struck by the importance of continuing God's call for the long term. Maybe that is why Paul said that we ought not grow weary when we are doing good thing.

It takes a long time for the seeds to fall to the ground, get covered up, bloom and grow and then produce fruit of their own. It was over twenty years ago That I met Jens-Petter Jorgensen in Nairobi, Kenya. We became friends and he invited me to teach in Oslo at a Pastors' Conference in 1986.

Many of the people who came to our many teaching and equipping sessions have grown in maturity, insight and wisdom and God has placed them in positions of influence. They have grown and developed in new ways because of the Holy spirit not me. God brought healing and power to so many good people back in the Eighties that something good had to happen! It did because they are spread out all over the world doing good things for Jesus.

So, don't grow weary as you keep the flock of God covered with grace and power.

Gary Sweeten

Facebook and Other Ways to Communicate

In addition to blogging, I have been on Facebook for some time and it is growing on me. I can post photos and send messages as well as keep up with friends. Look me up and say something nice about my Christmas photos.

I am also on Linkedin and Plaxo. Linkedin is a network of professional consultants and Plaxo is sort of like Facebook but it actually keeps everyone up to date on addresses, mail, emails, etc. So, if anything changes your Outlook is instantly updated.

It takes time to write on every body's wall.

Gary Sweeten

http://www.sweetenlife.com/

What About Getting A Coach?

I have always enjoyed sports and was actually a coach for some years. I was not a very good coach in most sports but was pretty good as a basketball coach. I liked BB a lot and played it myself. I studied BB and learned the basics enough to teach others.

There are some things that can not be taught to a player. No one could teach Tiger Woods to be so focused and competitive. It was in his DNA from birth. His father, Earl Woods, taught Tiger a lot as did other coaches but the internal drive to win was inside this young man all his life. In fact, Tiger brags that he constantly pushed Earl to let him practice more.

I am a professional Counselor/Coach/Consultant. A Counselor combines the ability to assess the strengths and weaknesses of a person with the gifts of healing, discernment and acceptance. A Counselor knows that something is broken and needs to be fixed. He or she also knows how to fix the broken things of life in the soul, relationships and how to deal effectively with guilt and shame.

A Coach is similar but focuses on fixing/healing broken hearts he focuses on getting people unstuck from ineffective living. I cannot give you the drive to succeed but I can help you understand your gifts and talents better as well as your opportunities for healing and growth. One of my gifts is Encouragement. Many of the people I Coach mention that they feel more confident after we meet. .

A Consultant adds the area of organizational development and system's thinking to Coaching. If the system is dysfunctional it will impede the people no matter how smart or skilled they are. A good Consultant is able to assess the places where the organizational system is stuck and then teaches the leaders how to push the right levers to get it moving again.

I love to meet with Christian leaders and assist them as a Counselor, Coach and a Consultant. Sweeten Life Systems has been called by God to "Heal the broken hearted and set the captives free." We sometimes do that one on one but we mostly work with leadership teams. How can we help you?

Gary Sweeten, Ed. D.

http://www.sweetenlife.com/

Honoring Mentors

Last Friday I attended the Memorial Service of Marge Miller. The sanctuary of College Hill Presbyterian Church was half full and it seemed that most of us were torn between grief over the loss of a wonderful friend and, at the same time, filled with joy because we knew she was now at the side of her husband Jim and son David.

The mixture was particularly strong when we sang some of Marge's favorite songs. She was Welsh and loved singing as much as anyone I ever met. The music brought back sweet memories of our great days together at CHPC as well as the reminder that some day a group will be singing that music at our service.

Marge Miller was on the edge of the huge shift in theology and practice of lay ministry. It is common today to see churches with numerous lay volunteers who do everything but the sacraments in churches. However, when I joined the staff at CHPC in 1973 it was unusual, especially in an Mainline Presbyterian Church.

Marge had been the Interim Minister of Christian Education when I came full time in that position. Marge took me under her wing and mentored me, coached me and showed me the ropes. I was a Baptist kid from a tiny village who knew nothing of Presbyterian polity, theology or practice. Marge was warm, caring, funny and straight forward. She was my life saver.

Thanks to Marge Miller and all the Marge Millers who labor in God's vineyards behind the scenes. They are the keys to how a church operates and few people recognize it. Most of the accolades and fame goes to the clergy who speak on Sunday mornings. They write the books and get quoted by Christianity. But it was Marge and Marie and Doris and Carole and Jim and Tom and Peter who made it all work.

Thanks Marge. The lights you lit in others will shine brightly for generations. God has blessed me and thousands more through you so now you can enjoy your reward.

The Power of People Helping People

Galina, a professional Psychiatrist, with her lay team in Russia.
They are changing the churches and the nation.


We live in a mythical society with powerful lies that keep us bound to practices that do not work. For example, that only professionals can help people grow, learn, heal and recover from deep spiritual and emotional problems.

In 1969, just as I was starting my doctoral work in counseling, I heard two of the greatest psychologists in history speak about the power of ordinary people to help themselves and others get through the challenges of life.

What these men said made such an impact on me that I changed my career emphasis and wrote my dissertation on the power of Christians to provide care, counseling and coaching to one another. Carl Rogers, perhaps the most influential Psychologist in America, said that lay counselors were as effective as professionals.

Then O.H. Mowrer, founder of Integrity Therapy, said, "The early Christian Church was the most powerful healing community the world has ever known." Those two simple statements hit me like a tornado for I was studying to be a professional, clinical therapist. I had pursued a doctorate because I thought my educational insights were too weak to deal with the levels of need I saw among the students. I was right in some ways but I was wrong as well.

Mowrer and Rogers said that ordinary lay people were more powerful than any professional counselors. WOW! If true, that would change how we delivered care and counsel forever. I found in my research that Dr. Mowrer was right but his facts have been carefully kept away from the church and the American citizens.

Most people still think that the only answer to mental and emotional and relational pain is to see a professional and take drugs. This is not true. Lay volunteers are currently the largest untapped resource for good the world has ever seen. Let's tap them!

Want Your Kids to Make Better Grades?

Recent research on the relationship of church attendance and better grades is heartening to those of us who take the trouble to get our children in Sunday school and church. The study is found in the journal LiveScience and says: "If you want to boost your teenager's grade point average, take the kid to church. Or, a new study suggests, find some similar social activity to involve them in.
Researchers found that church attendance has as much effect on a teen's GPA as whether the parents earned a college degree. Students in grades 7 to 12 who went to church weekly also had lower dropout rates and felt more a part of their schools.
On average, students whose parents received a four-year college degree average a GPA .12 higher than those whose parents completed high school only. Students who attend religious services weekly average a GPA .144 higher than those who never attend services, said Jennifer Glanville, a sociologist at the University of Iowa."

This is just the latest study to affirm the positive aspects of church involvement for children, youth and adults. Just attending church is thought to lengthen life by three to five years and we know that kids who attend church drink and smoke less as well as do less drugs.

So, don't just send them to church; take them there and stay for a dose of healthy living yourself.

Sweeten Life Systems is all about "A lifetime of great relationships" and going to church as a family to worship God and follow the way of love is essential to building great relationships.

Love and Relationships

Let me tell you a story. Karen and I just returned from lunch at "The Chef's Deli" that is located down the road from us in Sharonville. On the way back we spotted a light truck hauling a long trailer with a long sign painted on the side. It was in large bold letters and announced the evangelistic intentions of the driver. Would you like to guess what it said?


I have been all over the world and talked with Believers of every kind and description from almost every tribe and tongue. I love to hear their stories about how God touched them despite all manner of cultural, mental, theological and religious barriers. In almost every case the barrier busting approach that was most effective had a similar theme: Some kind of caring relationship.


In some cases the story was about how God broke through and showed His mercy, grace and love to an unsuspecting unbeliever. At other times it was a friend or family member who showed the love of God through kindness. In many cases God broke in through a dream, vision or miracle and shocked the unbeliever into his senses.


Of all the cases I know, however, none came as a result of reading a slogan on the side of a truck or trailer. In fact, many people see slogans as offensive rather than loving. I remember a time when some organization was promoting the "I Found It Campaign" and placed "I Found It" signs and bumper stickers all over town. In response, a group of Jewish adherents made signs that said, "We Never Lost It".


The Bible is clear that loving relationships are the greatest way to bring people to faith in Christ. Jesus told the Disciples in Luke 9 and 10 to go out and bless the people around them with love and peace. This is the best way to preach good news. Jesus did not not paint impersonal slogans on wagons and ox carts. Instead he touched people with love and care and healing power.

What is your approach?

Want to know the painted slogan?





Heaven or Hell?





It is your choice!





If people driving next to that truck had read and started to confess and repent of their sins we would have seen massive traffic tie ups and accidents. I don't ever remember hearing stories about that happening at bill boards or bumper stickers. Do you?

New Web Site

Thanks for coming to the blog.

Go to our new web www.sweetenlife.com

Seasoned Believers Must Act Now

In the book, The Boomer Century 1946-2046: How America's Most Influential Generation Changed Everything by Richard Croker there is an article by Dr Thom Rainer, a hugely regarded researcher on Christianity. Rainer says:

“Most cutting-edge ministries in the church for the past 40 years have been aimed at reaching the younger generations. And if something does not change in our churches, this age wave will pass by with millions never connecting with the church, and with millions never responding to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

“Most leaders admit that they have not even thought about the issue, much less strategically planned to reach this older generation.”" As a result of the negligence of Christian leaders, "About two-thirds of the 76 million boomers are unchurched, which means they attend church no more than twice a year."

These builders and boomers have the largest accumulated wealth of any group in America’s history. But their wealth is not restricted to money and materials. They also have an enormous reservoir of experience in education, science, industry, business and practical Christianity.

This age wave includes tens of millions of men and women who want to make a difference in their older years. They have pursued many paths to happiness, and the unchurched boomers tell us that none have proved satisfactory. These new "senior" adults do not perceive themselves to be older adults, and any organization that communicates to them that they are old will quickly lose their allegiance.

In Greater Cincinnati we have almost 800,000 thousand men and women over age 45. If 2/3 are unchurched, and I think they may be, it is a huge untapped group of almost 600,000 people who are just waiting for some church of para-church organization to care for them.

Party Time

Mike Ludzak and Alan Bowsher from Dwelling Place Church.

Pastor Rich Femia of Dwelling Place Church with Carol and Steve Helterbridle and Carol Femia. Pastor Rich was the man of prayer who blessed Gary and Karen at the party.

Gary with good friends Steve and Sue Griebling. Steve and Gary have developed many of the training materials we presently use to "equip the saints." We have travelled many miles around the globe.

Happy Birthday Gary

As you may remember, my birthday is May 5, 1938. However, we were so busy in May that it was impossible to plan a party to celebrate my entry into the Eighth Decade of life. So, my daughter Julia and wife Karen decided to put on a secret party for me on June 28, which incidentally is my elder brother Maury's birthday.



They are both introverts so son Tim was recruited to be the MC and get all the names of friends from my address book. The secret was exposed when I caught Tim trying to download my address book and they were "busted"!





The party was Saturday night and it was wonderful. Almost 100 folks showed up at the Mill Golf Course and Banquet Center and a great time was had by all. Tim was MC, Jim Weible the DJ, Julia and Dave with son Jacob greeted and chatted with Tim's wife Shelley cutting the cake with Dave.


Many of our friends offered tributes to our past times with God and ministry. Thanks to all of you who came. I was in hog heaven because I could reminisce with so many pals and co-workers, almost 100 in all. Julia's blog has the photos.


http://hookedonhouses.wordpress.com/2008/06/29/happy-birthday-dad/

Also see the comments of thousands on Julia's special blog
http://happybirthdaygary.wordpress.com/


Julie's tribute to me on Father's Day
http://hookedonhouses.wordpress.com/2008/06/14/happy-fathers-day/

Easter Greetings

Healing Power of Forgiveness

There was a great program on CSPAN Today about Forgiveness. Sally Quinn was the moderator and the panel consisted of Martin,Doblmeier, Filmmaker
Thomas Moore, Author, Kenneth Briggs, Author

It was a Forum on The Power of Forgiveness sponsored by the Fetzer Institute Washington, District of Columbia (United States) ID: 202144 - 03/12/2008 - 1:55 - $29.95 View in Video Library

Kenneth Briggs talked about his book The Power of Forgiveness, published by Fortress Press. The book examines the idea of forgiveness in overcoming personal, national, and international struggles.

The book includes interviews with Elie Wiesel, Sister Helen Prejean, and others and contributions from other writers. It is based on a documentary film by Martin Doblmeier. Mr. Briggs was joined in a panel discussion at this event at the National Press Club to launch the book. It is part of the Fetzer Institute Campaign for Love and Forgiveness

http://inside.c-spanarchives.org:8080/cspan/cspan.csp?command=dprogram&record=558860299

Hearing God-A lifetime of great relationships

When we left Pastor Don he was puzzled and fearful. He wondered what God wanted him to do about praying for divine guidance. Sure, he believed in following God from scripture but the Bible doesn't have anything to say about when to take a call to another church or how to unravel a badly mixed up marriage.

So, he asked God to reveal His will to a well known Lay Woman in the city when she was facilitating a meeting of leaders. Later in the day she called Don and said God had given her a strange insight during prayer.

"I was very surprised that I had a picture of you popped into my head. I saw you from a distance this morning at the meeting. But since we never spoke I was shocked when the Lord brought you to mind. Then I heard a voice say, 'Tell Pastor Don to seek me like he did in college and I will be with him.' Does that make any sense to you Pastor?"

Pastor Don: "Yes, indeed. I know exactly what I to do. In college I met with a small group of friends and we worshipped for thirty minutes or so and then went silent and listened to see what He had to say. Almost every time we had inner guidance about leading the student gatherings on the weekends. We were able to agree on what to teach and the issues that might arise so we could be prepared. I need to find a group of people at my church with whom I can pray and seek His voice. He is saying for me to not be afraid of seeking His voice."