Why Are Churches so Dysfunctional?

There are several POSSIBLE answers to this question:

1. Churches are NOT dysfunctional; members are holy

2. It is due to bad preaching or short sermons or poor theology

3. The members are not willing to change by submitting to Christ

4. Sin is worse now than ever before

5. Sin is deep and change is difficult requiring God's direct interventions

6. Women refuse to submit to husbands

7. Husbands refuse to love and lead their wives

8. Parents refuse to disciplining their kids

9. I do not know and do not want to talk about it

10. All or most of the above

What do you think? Write me your answers.

Revivals, Awakenings and Ministry

This post is about the way so many people are volunteering to take part in social, spiritual and political movements. I am not commenting on the CONTENT of the movements, but the wide spread, mass interest of ordinary people in trying to make a difference.

People who are living longer, healthier lives. These Seasoned Citizens and Seasoned Believers are well educated, highly motivated, well read, energetic, mobile, well heeled and have lots of time on their hands. They have been unleashed and the genie cannot be put back into the bottle. They will not be controlled by leaders but are challenging traditional leaders in every realm of life.

Martin Luther is remembered as a key person in the Reformation Protesting the impurity of the Roman Catholic Church. However, there had been many reformers in the Roman Catholic Church before Luther but he was much more successful than the others. Why? The printing press that led to fast mass communication for the very first time. Today we have fast mass communication in blogs, cable news, Twitter, Facebook, etc.

Churches, political parties, local governments will all have to change. They can no longer stand off in the distance and direct people with their version of the truth. We are no longer in an era of truth from an expert. In the Modern Era we looked up "TRUTH" in a book. World Book Encyclopedia was sold to millions of families for example. It might have ten lines on Luther.

Now we go to Wikipedia, an online enclopedia that has multitudes of entries by hundreds of people whose names appear on the page. They add thousands of blue Internet links about Luther. Truth is a dialogue that arrives from dialogue among many named experts rather than from one anonymous person.

Just look at the "Town Meetings". I have not seen such wide spread involvement of ordinary people, especially Seasoned Citizens, in politics in my life time. Despite the cries of opponents and media elites that these folks are all shills for a political party, by watching them it is obvious that they are driven by a deep emotional connection to the issues of the day and want to make a difference.

I have read of similar movements during the days leading up to the Civil War. Thousands of citizens marched, sang, preached and wrote about the evils of slavery. Much of the movement was centered around Cincinnati.

One more thought. Leaders better learn to listen, discuss, enter into dialogues with unruly citizens and be transparent with what is happening. Most of the politicians, pastors and managers are not skilled in facilitating these emotional groups. The pols are actually attacking and cursing thir voters! That is stupid and deadly. They had better learn how interact with overly emotional groups and do it quickly.

I am available to consult with these leaders before they kill the goose that lays their golden retirement plans.

Augustine's Rest

Michael Cristiani wrote a comment on the last post about finding our rest in God. Bishop Augustine is one of the most influential Christians in history. He was a wild mouse who rebelled against every convention and who desperately needed the peace of God. He found it when he heard the voice of the Spirit speak to him and he was born again.

The Bishop lived in north Africa and was a brilliant theologian. However, it appears to me that he failed to really find his rest in Christ while on this earth. My evidence for such a conclusion is how hard he was on people who failed to live up to his standards.

In my experience, anyone who is rigidly ungracious toward other sinners is out of touch with the peace of Jesus. As Hebrews 12:15 says, "Let none of you fail to obtain the grace of God and cause a root of bitterness grow up to defile many people.

Those of us who fail to obtain God's gracious attitude toward ourselves and others are very likely to become bitter. Bitter resentment leads to sickness of body, mind and spirit. Grace leads to peace.

What About Getting A Coach?

I have always enjoyed sports and was actually a coach for some years. I was not a very good coach in most sports but was pretty good as a basketball coach. I liked BB a lot and played it myself. I studied BB and learned the basics enough to teach others.

There are some things that can not be taught to a player. No one could teach Tiger Woods to be so focused and competitive. It was in his DNA from birth. His father, Earl Woods, taught Tiger a lot as did other coaches but the internal drive to win was inside this young man all his life. In fact, Tiger brags that he constantly pushed Earl to let him practice more.

I am a professional Counselor/Coach/Consultant. A Counselor combines the ability to assess the strengths and weaknesses of a person with the gifts of healing, discernment and acceptance. A Counselor knows that something is broken and needs to be fixed. He or she also knows how to fix the broken things of life in the soul, relationships and how to deal effectively with guilt and shame.

A Coach is similar but focuses on fixing/healing broken hearts he focuses on getting people unstuck from ineffective living. I cannot give you the drive to succeed but I can help you understand your gifts and talents better as well as your opportunities for healing and growth. One of my gifts is Encouragement. Many of the people I Coach mention that they feel more confident after we meet. .

A Consultant adds the area of organizational development and system's thinking to Coaching. If the system is dysfunctional it will impede the people no matter how smart or skilled they are. A good Consultant is able to assess the places where the organizational system is stuck and then teaches the leaders how to push the right levers to get it moving again.

I love to meet with Christian leaders and assist them as a Counselor, Coach and a Consultant. Sweeten Life Systems has been called by God to "Heal the broken hearted and set the captives free." We sometimes do that one on one but we mostly work with leadership teams. How can we help you?

Gary Sweeten, Ed. D.

http://www.sweetenlife.com/

The Dreadful State of Ministerial Training

I have focused much of my professional and personal life on supporting, counseling, coaching and consulting with Clergy. I have concluded that the preparation they generally receive before entering congregational life as a professional is woefully inadequate. Let me illustrate.

The primary context of clerical ministry is human relationships.

The primary issues of leadership and change always involve relationships and the need to motivate members to accept, lead and pay for change.

The problems that come to a pastor's office are heavily weighted toward a breakdown in human relationships and he/she is expected to resolve those problems and make the people better.

The thing that cause most ministers to fail is an inability to relate well with the members.

Despite these obvious facts, almost 100% of the training for ministry is about large group and mass communication and nothing about interpersonal communication. What are they thinking? Who designs such an inappropriate curriculum, someone who wants ministers to fail?

The result is disappointment, family conflict, burn out, frustration, blaming and shaming and churches unable to minister effectively. When will we ever learn?

Gary Sweeten

http://www.sweetenlife.com/

I Calls Them The Way I Sees Them

Six Men From Hindustan saw the same elephant but experienced it very differently.

This is an old saw that I heard growing up. However, the power and truth of its sentiment did not sink in until I began to study interpersonal communication and how differences in "The ways we sees them" cause so much conflict.



For example, the inability to resolve differences in a marriage is the greatest cause of divorce, abuse and dissatisfaction. We often hear that the number one cause of divorce is money, sex, in laws and religion. During this season we might also add politics. But, those are simply some of the issues over which we fail to find a peaceful way to deal with differences.



I am not careful with money and my wife is very careful. That can be a good thing if we understand how to balance each other out. However, it can be bad, very bad with those who attack each other over how money is spent. She says I am reckless and irresponsible and I accuse her of being a tightwad just like my mother. Those attacks are what causes the trouble, not the spending habits.



I could say to my wife, "Karen, I really appreciate your ability to save money. You help me a lot." This avoids Attacks and inserts Attending instead. Attending to one another builds up the Emotional Bank Account that we can draw from at other times when we are feeling scratchy.



Why Attack The Ones We Love?



II COR 4:4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.



The enemy of our souls goes all out to get us to misunderstand and misperceive what others are saying and meaning. Even when we try to be accurate, loving and gracious we are misunderstood. This leads us to feel hurt, shamed and disrespected.



But, I am a believer? How can this happen? Read II COR a little farther down the way. 7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.



"Be patient; God is not finished with me yet!"



I am filled with the Holy Spirit but the vessel that carries that Holiness around is fallen and dirty. (The image is actually that of a latrine or chamber pot. My clay pot is really a very lowly thing.) Why? To show the greatness and holiness of God's Spirit.



Gary Sweeten
http://www.sweetenlife.com/

1619-It Was a Mighty Good Year

I remember the first time Karen and I visited Virginia. It was a great learning experience for both of us. Although I had taken several American history classes, being on the scene offered us many powerful insights.

For example, it was in Williamsburg that I first saw how the people attended church in colonial days. Each of the well off families had a special pew set aside for them. They had to pay a tax to get the pew, of course. The American tradition of sitting in a special place each Sunday may go back to those early days in the Anglican churches. (No tax today but we expect tithes and offerings.)

Church membership was closely associated with citizenship. Just like England, the colonies had a close tie between a certain denomination and the colony in which it was located. There were two state denominations in colonial times. The Congregational Church Denomination dominated the North Eastern or New England Colonies and the Anglican Episcopalians had Virginia sewed up.

When the founders said there was to be no establishment of a religion, this is what they were talking about. They did not want any certain denomination to get public tax monies to support the clergy and buildings as they did in Europe. Nor did they want any denomination to dominate the membership of a state.

Today, religion is still seen as a dual membership in many countries, especially Islamic nations. Thus, conversion to an other religion is seen as not only heresy but as being a traitor to the nation. In America, religion was disconnected from patriotism so different churches grew and prospered according to how well they ministered to the felt needs of the community. So, America's freedom of religion has led to a very healthy state of Christianity.

But why was 1619 a very good year? What three historic things happened in 1619? See if you can guess what they were. I will post the answers in a few days. Anyone that gets all three of the answers right will get a free book. 2019 will be the 400th anniversary of these three huge events. Get ready to celebrate in 11 years.

Gary Sweeten

http://www.sweetenlife.com/

Pray for Christians in Indonesia

It is frightening for Christians in Asia to see the rising attacks against them and their children. Historically places like Indonesia have been rather tolerant about minority groups such as Christians. Recently however, hate filled groups in that largest Muslim nation in the world have become filled with rage and threats.

A recent story on Fox News tells how the students and teachers in one school have been forced to leave the school grounds because of threats of violence.

Several years ago I was in Singapore to teach. At the Hotel Asia where I stayed I met a man of about fifty at breakfast and we chatted for awhile. I assumed he was a Muslim but in a very short while he said, "I saw you praying over your food and decided to come over to talk. I am a Christian and want to have some fellowship while I am in Singapore."

He related how a group of vigilante Muslims had attacked his home kampung or village and he and the others had barely escaped into the jungle. According to this man it was getting more dangerous by the day for children to attend Christian schools and go to church buildings. He asked for our prayers.

The rising intimidation of radical Muslims around the world is also affecting Western nations. Muslims are scaring many leaders into submission in Europe and allowing them to get away with crimes of intimidation against lapsed Muslims and other "infidels".

Pray for these Muslims to meet Christ and follow the Prince of Peace rather than Mohamed the Warrior.

Money is Evil to this Church

Another interesting article in MMI concerns a church that refused to accept "tainted" money from a member who won $6,000,000.00 in the lottery.

Got to MMI and let me know what you think.

Healing Power of Forgiveness

There was a great program on CSPAN Today about Forgiveness. Sally Quinn was the moderator and the panel consisted of Martin,Doblmeier, Filmmaker
Thomas Moore, Author, Kenneth Briggs, Author

It was a Forum on The Power of Forgiveness sponsored by the Fetzer Institute Washington, District of Columbia (United States) ID: 202144 - 03/12/2008 - 1:55 - $29.95 View in Video Library

Kenneth Briggs talked about his book The Power of Forgiveness, published by Fortress Press. The book examines the idea of forgiveness in overcoming personal, national, and international struggles.

The book includes interviews with Elie Wiesel, Sister Helen Prejean, and others and contributions from other writers. It is based on a documentary film by Martin Doblmeier. Mr. Briggs was joined in a panel discussion at this event at the National Press Club to launch the book. It is part of the Fetzer Institute Campaign for Love and Forgiveness

http://inside.c-spanarchives.org:8080/cspan/cspan.csp?command=dprogram&record=558860299

Innovation and Change That Works

I was once asked by the Pastor and Board to stop teaching Sunday school at a local congregation. In fact, I was asked to leave the church. My sin? Karen and I started meeting with the College and Career Sunday school class in homes during the week as well as at the church house on Sunday morning.

This was a church in Cincinnati that held to the "Fundamentals of the Faith". However, starting a new thing was a real threat. Submission to authorities has never been a high priority of mine but in this case I rebelled without trying to.

I was Associate Dean at the University of Cincinnati at the time and taking some classes on the positive power of a group to mold the behavior of its members. I concluded that groups could be used to more thoroughly disciple Christians in knowing and doing the word of God.

I also learned from Inter Varsity how to do inductive Bible studies. An inductive process has the students read and discuss a passage without the teacher insisting on one interpretation. This process brought new and challenging issues to the fore and I loved the bright, intelligent discussions that resulted.

This was a threat. The young people seemed to like and appreciate the groups and they grew in size and enthusiasm. But, some of the parents were upset because their children were asking deeper questions about spiritual matters.

I was reported to the Board and they called me in to face them in a heresy trial. The entire proceedings were puzzling. One of the main points of contention focused on my beard. They concluded that I was a Quaker.

I did not handle the affair well. I was defensive, angry and unable to clarify what I was trying to do. The result was my resignation from the class, the church and the denomination my family was in for generations. It was extremely painful to Karen and me. I had never intended the home groups to be controversial and I never, ever thought I would leave the denomination my family identified with since the founding of America.

I had failed to see the truth of the parable of Jesus when He said: "You cannot pour new wine into old wineskins or they will burst." Well, it burst.

I focused some of my doctoral studies on Organizational Change. My failure at to bring a new way of teaching into the church without causing conflict motivated me to learn more about being a change agent. I never intended to get the Board upset. But I did cause trouble because I was unwise in how I brought the new ideas.

The process of a change is as important as the content of the new ideas. In fact, the way we do a new thing may be more important than what we do.

Any change is a threat. Any change brings stress and anxiety. When it is brought up in a clumsy manner it will very likely fail.

I wish I had known that when I was young.

Have you ever caused people to be upset with your new ideas? What were the ideas? What happened?

Were any of you ever burned at the stake?

How innovative is your church?

Gary Sweeten

Coach to Seasoned Believers

Consultant to Seasoned Leaders