Sunday, December 02, 2007

Reactive People Need Healing

Apostles Reacted to Children and Jesus Responded

Over the past forty years or so that I have been a counselor and counselor educator I have worked with thousands of people. Almost without exception the most dysfunctional people are Reactive and get into trouble because they cannot Respond objectively to the ways others live and think. Or, maybe it is more accurate to say, they cannot Respond objectively to what they THINK others mean when they speak.

Our media's language is filled with emotionally loaded terms and barely rational ways of seeing the world. For example, reporters often say, "I feel like the President is.........." when they really mean, "I perceive that the President means...."

We also say such irrational things as, "You make me feel so badly!"

In American we even have such irrational things as, "Hate crimes."
We could argue that most crimes agains others is based on hate rather than love.

Most of my clients give other people an awful lot of power over their feelings and behavior. But thankfully, some of our people are learning to take responsibility for themselves and not blame others. Thankfully, we have been able to train thousands of Christians how to remain calm in the midst of the storms of life.

A young man started to Junior High this year and was accosted verbally by many of the other boys. When he related the story he smiled and asked, "I am bigger than all of them and think it is funny when they try to act so mean."

This kid is refusing to React and choosing to Respond. Bullies and manipulators always try to suck us into feeling badly. A wise person keeps calm and peaceful and will not React. This is what Jesus meant when he said, "Turn the other cheek." With this one small sentence Jesus told us how to remain calm and Respond not React to a bully.

Next time maybe I will tell you how Chad Johnson of the Bengals made the Cleveland Brown Bully Group look weak and useless.


Anonymous said...


Gary Sweeten said...

Read the more recent posts also.