Thursday, December 16, 2010
Church Conflict! Why?
Have you heard this small joke?
A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific Island for years. Finally one day a boat came into view and the man frantically waved to draw the skipper's attention. The boat draws near the island and a sailor got out and greets the stranded man.
After a while the sailor asked the man, "What are those three huts you have here?"
Man: "Well, that's my house there."
Sailor: "What's that next hut?" asks the sailor.
Man: "I built that hut to be my church."
Sailor: "What about the other hut?"
Man: "Oh, that's where I used to go to church, but I got mad at the preacher and all those hypocrites left."
Did you laugh? I did. Why is that story funny? Maybe because it is too true.
For the past several decades I have consulted with a coached many people with positions of leadership in Christian organizations. Some have been Clergy who graduated from seminary and others are Elders, business people and volunteers. All in all, few are experts in experiencing conflict but most are unprepared to deal effectively to manage the conflict.
Over the years I have seen a lot of Pastors and Leaders who are burned out, traumatized and discouraged by the amount of toxic relationships at church. Why is there so much conflict in God's Families? Which of the following do you think is the most frequent or important cause of toxic conflict?
1. Because the Pastors and Leaders offend the people.
2. The Leaders do not know how to relate well with people.
3. The leaders are ignorant of the Bible.
4. The personalities of the Leaders are bad.
5. The sins of the Leaders.
6. The sins of the members and lay board.
7. The devil makes us do it.
8. The people are dysfunctional.
9. The members are spoiled and refuse to follow God's word.
10. Add your own.....
Next: Church fights!