Why Do We Not Prevent Divorces?

What causes most divorces is pretty well known. Researchers such as John Gottman has studied couples in his laboratories for several decades by hooking them up to brain wave machines while the discussed a family situation. He says he can tell in a very short time which couples will stay the course and which ones will bail out.

I suspect you wonder how he can be so precise. I did. Then I read his famous book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. Now I understand how he did it.

In that and other books Dr. Gottman explains what happens when a couple attempts to plan a simple vacation or how to discipline a child. If they do not have the skills of communication, problem solving and conflict management, the discussion will turn into "Toxic Conflict".

There are four styles of conflict management: Three that work and one that is toxic and a huge failure. The good news is this: Churches can and need badly to teach couples how to handle conflict in ways that build the family rather than destroy it. Unfortunately, very few have any sort of premarital preparation, let alone preparation that focuses on managing differences.

Prevention is fairly simple but it is not easy. The least we can do is start by teaching the Gottman skills. Get my book, Listening for Heaven's Sake and ask Equipping Ministries or some other ministry to train you how to do premarital prep. That would be a great start to preventing couple break ups.

Healing Every Day

Go to my new blog Spirituality, Healing and Growth and see a couple of two great posts on healing, prayer and forgiveness.

Spiritual Healing Blog

I have started a new blog. You can find it under
Spiritual Healing and Growth I think you will find it enormously helpful if you are a counselor, educator, minister or volunteer. I am placing research, insights on ways people grow and change and practical things I have learned over the past thirty years of ministry.

Take a look and keep coming back.

Ministry Trip to Denmark

I will be traveling to Denmark from March 21 to March 30 to see my great friend Peder Poulsen and his colleagues and other spiritual power houses. I met Peder way back in the Eighties at Vats, the high mountain ski resort where we gathered some fifty Scandinavian leaders for five days of Holy Spirit worship, praise and learning.

The testimonies that came out of the years we met in Vats were life changing and eternity expanding. Priests, Pastors, Missionaries, Lay Leaders and Para Church Leaders came together with a group from the USA to storm heaven and earth for God's love, power and truth. Many of the graduates of Vats are still expanding the Kingdom of God all over the world through care, counsel, evangelism and training.

The group in Denmark is a remnant of the Vats explosion. Hundreds of Christians have grown up in Christ to take His message to Europe and the nations. One of our friends is Kirsten Callesen, a PhD Psychologist who was a Flight Attendant with SAS when she came to our Teleios Training in the Nineties. God touched her life and called her to get a Masters' in Psychology.

As part of her training, Kirsten did an internship in a clinic that worked with people with Autism. This led Kirsten to take the classes in "Apples of Gold- Listening and develop a similar class for her clients. It worked beautifully and she has developed an entire training program called "The CAT Kit" for parents and children with Aspergers, a section of the Autistic Spectrum. She also finished a PhD in Psychology.

While in Denmark I will get to visit with Kirsten and see her in action plus attend two workshops on treating Autism. God has opened a wonderful door for me to learn how better to serve families with Special needs Kids.

Keep us in your prayers. More on this later.

Rearing Special Needs Kids

For several months we have been interviewing parents with special needs children about the stresses,strains and pressures of life. They are legion.

That is not surprising. As a father and grand father I know first hand how stressful it is to mom and dad to have the emotional, educational and spiritual responsibility to rear, clothe and feed any kid regardless of their special needs. When a child is born with a serious disability the stresses are multiplied many times over.

That is not surprising but this fact may be. Many of these parents are innovative, creative and resilient to the place where our research team calls them "Heroes!" They are heroic not because it is good thing to do but because they are the best experts their kids have.

Yes, there are fine Doctors, Psychologists, Educators and Physical Therapists but they are usually isolated from the children. Mom, Dad and Siblings as well as family members and friends must come up with practical solutions.

Want to know another secret??? The professionals do not know about the solutions or the problems families face. "Why?" you ask. They ask the parents and do not See the parents as important to the tasks performed by the pros.

We call our project, "It takes a whole village" because rearing a special needs child or caring for a special needs adult requires everybody to pitch in. When I taught school I had special needs kids in my classes. I ignorantly did not even think about the difficulty faced by Mom and Dad. Now I think about it a lot.


Jim Donovan, of Donovan Research, and the Director for our project says, "These families have arrived at solutions to many of the problems they face. However, they are often alone and the solutions have not been well distributed." Sweeten Life Systems is trying to not only discover problems and solutions but discover ways to broadcast those solutions to other families.

One more point. When parents face the fact that their child has special needs they often become increasingly interested in church, religion and spirituality. However, few churches are ready for such a challenge. This leaves the parents isolated and longing for a church that can minister to them.

Pray with us about our next steps in the project "It takes a whole village"(R).

See the web for more information. www.sweetenlife.com

Healing Minds/Touching Hearts

I am enjoying the good things happening as we cooperate with Tri-County Assembly of God. Pastor Brad Rosenberg went to Cincinnati Christian with my kids and is now Senior Pastor of one of the most influential congregations in the Tri-State region.

Here is a video on YouTube of a neat program called TCA Hope Fair being held next week. Take a look at it.

Go to TCA's home page to read about a seven week series I will be doing there on Wednesday nights starting in October. We will teach Christians how to "Take every thought captive to the mind of Christ" and put an end to their fears, anxieties, depression and anger. Sign up and attend all the classes you can.

Missional Churches

Are you missional? Is your church missional? Do you know what being missional really means? I can't give a great meaning of missional but here is my understanding.

When I went to Africa in 1983 to attend a large conference for "Leaders of Leaders" I was able to see first hand the power of Revival. European Missionaries had gone to Africa and preached the good news and God answered their prayers and blessed their efforts. For sixty or so years there was great, Holy Spirit Revival in the East African Nations.

Over fifty million people came to know Christ as Savior. So many came to faith that buildings would not hold them and there were not nearly enough Pastors to teach them God's word and God's ways. Congregations met under trees and called people to worship with drums. I preached there and was truly blessed. they begged me to return and train leaders.

After spending two weeks in Kenya I returned to England where I stayed in a college house with students at Oxford. The church buildings were large, impressive and largely dead. I went from a lively, thriving and dynamic church to a church museum. The people who took the gospel to African had left a shell back home.

Several English Missionaries came back to England to retire and saw the same thing I saw. They immediately recognized that the churches in England needed to gear up to reach the English home front just as they had reached the English Commonwealth decades earlier. They began to speak and write about the need for church leaders to reach out with a missionary zeal to the unsaved at home. They needed to become, MISSIONAL.

This is also true of the churches in America. Reaching out to men and women, boys and girls with the good news is essential to our spiritual, mental and emotional health as well as the eternal life of Americans.

More people come to faith in Christ from the children and youth groups than from outside the church. We must not fail to preach to those in the membership and in our neighborhoods.

Giving to Katrina Victims

Here is a good link to an article in the Philanthropy Chronicle. It shows that foundations and private companies donated over one billion dollars to the people and organizations after Katrina. It is an illustration of how generous Americans are to help people out.

I am sure the unreported money donated in services, gifts and private assistance would be even more than that given officially. Tens of thousands of men, women and young people have spent days and weeks on the Gulf Coast working with people to fix their homes, volunteer at schools and soup kitchens and do a million other helpful things for people. And, most were Christians.

Bust loads of Believers from all over the USA have trooped down to the Gulf to help in any way they can. PTL!! for kindness.

Citizen Revolutions

For several years I have been advancing the notion that we are in the midst of The Fourth Great Awakening. Awakenings occur when revivals of spiritual life mature into a social, cultural movement.

The Sixties and Seventies saw a huge international revival. Millions came to faith in Christ and were deeply touched by the Holy Spirit in many streams of living water. These revivals were interdenominational, ethnic, various ages and explosive.

The people who came to faith almost immediately decided to live out their new spiritual desires in small groups, house meetings, choirs, quartets, communes para church gatherings and Bible studies. The primary emphasis was on individual and Small group responsibility to lea God's word and live them out every day.

These groups tended to be egalitarian, open to everyone and under no specific authority structure, denomination or theological tradition. I was Associate dean at University of Cincinnati and we saw a wave of kids who were touched by the Holy spirit and who wanted to live daily by God's truth, grace, love and power.

One of my student friends came to UC from Cleveland where he had attended a Roman Catholic high school. On a retreat with father Jim Tommy was brought to faith in Christ and was born again. He was also "Baptized into the Holy Spirit" and started to witness to his friends and spend hours in prayer, fellowship and worship.

That was the genesis of the Jesus Movement and the revival precursor to the Fourth Great Awakening we are experiencing today.

Addictions from Sweeten Life

We live in a funny society. The Feds and various states pull out all the stops to prevent smoking and try to open gambling halls with alcoholic drinks to promote smoking, drinking and gambling addictions. We seem to have a whole host of Congressional Reps and Govt Bureaucrats who love to control the lives of us citizens under the pretext of saving us from ourselves.

I understand the motivation to save people. I was driven by a grand desire to save people for many years. I learned early in life that all I had to do to get a lot of affirmation from my family and the local preachers was to try to Rescue people. In fact, we were taught in church and Sunday school how to be a Black Belt Rescuer.

We were supposed to save the lost and hungry. Have you ever tried to save somebody against their will? How did it work?

In Singapore the penalty for selling a small amount of drugs is death. Every flight into Singapore there is an announcement right after the warning about seat belts that selling drugs will mean death. Still, a lot of people do dope and sell dope.

Human motivation to get high and medicate pain are extremely high. Highly motivated people are extremely creative in getting their drugs of choice. There is a lot of drug use in jails and prisons. If we can't stop dope by building a prison and putting up bars, how will passing a law that bans drugs work?

I think almost every church would be healthier if it had a series of 12 step programs. I would start with Al-Anon Groups designed for family members of addicts. Those groups are also helpful to ministers, elders, parents and government officials who are driven to make people stop doing what they want to do.

What we need are more 12 steppers running government agencies. After being in the 12 step community for some years the members begin to discover much more about helping people stay healthy.

Depression Drugs are Not Effective

Antidepressant use doubles in US, study finds 03 Aug 2009 20:00:22 GMT
Source: Reuters
* Use doubles from 13 million to 27 million Americans

* Increase in use not seen among blacks

* More Americans may accept diagnosis of depression

But, drugs will not get to the root cause!

By Maggie Fox, Health and Science Editor

WASHINGTON, Aug 3 (Reuters) - Use of antidepressant drugs in the United States doubled between 1996 and 2005, probably because of a mix of factors, researchers reported on Monday.

About 6 percent of people were prescribed an antidepressant in 1996 -- 13 million people. This rose to more than 10 percent or 27 million people by 2005, the researchers found.

"Significant increases in antidepressant use were evident across all sociodemographic groups examined, except African Americans," Dr. Mark Olfson of Columbia University in New York and Steven Marcus of the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia wrote in the Archives of General Psychiatry.

"Not only are more U.S. residents being treated with antidepressants, but also those who are being treated are receiving more antidepressant prescriptions," they added.

More than 164 million prescriptions were written in 2008 for antidepressants, totaling $9.6 billion in U.S. sales, according to IMS Health.

Drugs that affect the brain chemical serotonin like GlaxoSmithKline's Paxil, known generically as paroxetine, and Eli Lilly and Co's Prozac, known generically as fluoxetine, are the most commonly prescribed class of antidepressant. But the study found the effect in all classes of the drugs.

Olfson and Marcus looked at the Medical Expenditure Panel Surveys done by the U.S. Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, involving more than 50,000 people in 1996 and 2005.

"During this period, individuals treated with antidepressants became more likely to also receive treatment with antipsychotic medications and less likely to undergo psychotherapy," they wrote.

SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE

The survey did not look at why, but the researchers made some educated guesses. It may be more socially acceptable to be diagnosed with and treated for depression, they said. The availability of new drugs may also have been a factor.

"Although there was little change in total promotional spending for antidepressants between 1999 ($0.98 billion) and 2005 ($1.02 billion), there was a marked increase in the percentage of this spending that was devoted to direct-to consumer advertising, from 3.3 percent ($32 million) to 12 percent ($122.00 million)," they added.

Dr. Eric Caine of the University of Rochester in New York said he was concerned by the findings. "Antidepressants are only moderately effective on population level," he said in a telephone interview.

Caine, who was not involved in the research, noted that several studies show therapy is as effective as, if not more effective than, drug use alone.

"There are no data to say that the population is healthier. Indeed, the suicide rate in the middle years of life has been climbing," he said.

Olfson and Marcus said out-of-pocket costs for psychotherapy and lower insurance coverage for such visits may have driven patients away from seeing therapists in favor of an easy-to-prescribe pill.

The rise in antidepressant prescriptions also is seen despite a series of public health warnings on use of antidepressant drugs beginning in 2003 after clinical trials showed they increased the risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors in children and teens.

In February 2005, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration added its strongest warning, a so-called black box, on the use of all antidepressants in children and teens.

(Editing by Philip Barbara)


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Here is my take on depression: Go talk with a Helper. Find a listening friend or family member. If that does not work find a Counselor.

Counselors are more effective than drugs.

Marriage Mentoring

Almost every day news media cover some terrible and tragic stories about the results of sex outside marriage and babies/children without two parents in the home. For example, today in the Cincinnati Enquirer there is a story about a mother and father who are fighting over the custody of their daughter.

Mom and Dad were never married but had one child, at least.

Mom had another child earlier with another man who is living with a foster family.

Dad got a court order to have visitation rights but Mom disagreed.

Mom is currently living with a man with whom she is not married.

Mom kidnapped the child and hid her from Dad and the police.

Mom was arrested.

Police found the child.

Police took the child into custody and would not allow Dad to have her despite the court order.

This is a mess and is costing our government many thousands of dollars. It will damage all the children involved and very likely result in several generations of damaged, addicted, traumatized adults and cost millions. Few of these kids will get an education, keep a job or make enough money to take care of themselves. Many will be involved in violent crimes and end up in prison.

Almost 40% of all children born in America are to single Mothers who are on welfare. the kids will be on welfare their entire lives. Medicare is broke. Medicaid is broke. But the financial, social and psychological destruction of this epidemic is far worse than either Medicare or Medicaid.

What is the answer? Marriage before sex or at least before children. Husbands and wives staying together and rearing their children, making sure kids get a good education.

These are critically important.

This requires churches and Christians who know how to minister healing and wholeness to their people. Every church needs 12 Step Groups, Peer Care and Healing, Divorce Recovery and Prayer Groups.

Contact

Sweeten Life Systems

to learn how to be a healthy church. On August 29 I will teach a seminar on Mentoring Marriages. Sign up at the web site.

Empathy versus Enabling

Drug and alcohol addictions are rampant and seemingly growing in America and the rest of the world. One bad way to try to help an addict is to feel sorry for them and bail them out when they get into trouble.

Several years ago during the time I was still doing Clinical Counseling I was called by a Pastor who asked me to contact a family whose thirty year old son was a chronic addict. The parents had spent all their money and even mortgaged their family home to chronically bail the kid out of trouble.

My discussion with her unfolded why the parents were broke and the son was still addicted.

Mother: Dr. Sweeten, what can I do? My son is in jail and they are insisting that he go to a treatment center.
Gary: How many times has this happened?
Mother: Many times.
Gary: What have you done before?
Mother: We have paid his fine and got him an apartment.
Gary: Did it work to help him change his behavior?
Mother: Well, his life has been difficult. His ex wife left him and took the kids. So, he started doing drugs again.
Gary: So, it did not work to stop him from drinking and doping again.
Mother: The poor boy hasn't had a chance.
Gary: So, you feel sorry for him?
Mother: I feel so badly when he is in trouble.
Gary: Mrs. Johnson, you had better stop feeling so sorry for you son unless you kill him. What you are doing is called "Enabling or Co-Dependence". In order for a person to be an addict there must be an enabler.
Mother: (Crying) But I can't be so cruel and let him stay in jail with all those criminals. I love him too much.
Gary: What you are doing the Bible calls hate not love. It will eventually kill him unless you stop. You and your husband need to attend Al Anon, a group for families with an addicted relative. Al Anon teaches relatives how to understand their loved ones but stop enabling them. Mrs. Johnson, you need treatment more than your son. Call me after you go to Al Anon.

Gary Sweeten

Building a Representative Democracy

In the last post I spoke about the fact that a representative democracy requires its citizens to learn a high level of interpersonal skills. Interacting with others on issues of great importance push our emotional buttons and tempt us to lose our cool. But, as the Bible says, "Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger for human anger does not achieve the righteousness of God". James 1:19-20

For a long time I have tried to train Christians to listen to one another and learn how to quell their angry emotions as well as successfully deal with conflict. It is not easy to do this but the work is worth the patience it takes to accomplish the goal.

In fact, the scripture clearly calls us to allow the Holy Spirit to develop dynamic crop of healthy interpersonal fruit. In Galatians 5 is a list of intra-personal and inter-personal fruit that St. Paul sees as the core of the mature Christian life. They are:

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self Control

Part of my doctoral dissertation focused on relating this list with the positive interpersonal skills found in most counseling and management training manuals. St. Paul's list is remarkably similar to the aspects and attitudes found by psychologists in the most effective influencers.

As we Christians grow in God's grace and mercy toward one another and let go of anger, bitterness and judgmentalism the Spirit's positive aspects will be able to thrive in our relationships. This will inevitably lead to better discussions and happier solutions to family and political problems.

The classes we teach in the USA and around the world enables Christians to speak the truth in love and make better decisions. Our American way of life came out of a Christian background that was soaked in free church dialogue. Authoritarian and state church systems were unsuccessful in the Colonies because the early pioneers were looking for freedom from dictators.

As our ministries grow around the world and touch people unused to healthy decision making we will see increasingly large numbers of believers rise up the ladders of politics, business and education. We promote "A lifetime of great relationships".

Jesus House Reunion

The Jesus House in Cincinnati held its reunion yesterday but I couldn't attend. Grand Kids here and that trumps everything else. Take a look at the blog put up by the Jesus House curator of memories, Terry Fisher to learn more.

The Jesus Revolution started in the late Sixties and expanded for about ten years as millions of people from all walks of life came to faith in Jesus. That was the beginning of The Fourth Great Awakening. According to Nobel Prize winning economist Robert Fogel, we are in the midst of a spiritual "Hinge of History" right now because the mature members of the Jesus Revolution are Seasoned Believer with the wisdom, wealth and wit to change the world. (See Fogel's book, The Fourth Great Awakening.)

It is God's timing for Seasoned Believers to rise up and make a difference in education, health care, business, art, music, foundations and politics. For example, my friends and I who were deeply touched by the Jesus Revolution have just begun a research study on ways to empower, support and educate parents of Special Needs Children.

This project has the potential to change the way we do health care. The system of health care is deeply flawed. Doctors, Mental Health Counselors and others in health care are hampered by Byzantine bureaucratic rules set down by local, state and Federal Governments as well as paranoid regulations by health insurance companies. For example, Doctors ignore the parents and extended families of sick children, and they are the experts in the care of such children.

Chairman Ow is dead set on nationalizing health care and infusing it with more bureaucracy and more rigid rules. We all know that the politicians who make these rules do not have to live under them because all Governmental Health Plans are exempt.

We who came to spiritual and emotional maturity in the Spirit must mobilize ourselves and be positive influences in our communities. Speak up!

Gary Sweeten

The Village Research Project

I have not written much about the new research project we are launching. I call it, "It takes a whole village" project because we are trying to find out exactly how to best support and empower parents of Special Needs Children. The African Proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child" was used by Senator Hillary Clinton as the title for her book on education and health care a few years ago.

I agreed with Mrs. Clinton then and now. It is important to remember that the family system, neighborhood and community are all important in giving a child what she needs to be a healthy, contributing member of society. Our values are caught not just taught.

When a child comes into the world with a disability of some sort, the parents and extended family members are put into situations of stress that are greater than the normal stresses of parenting. There are many services, support systems and opportunities for Special Needs kids but almost nothing for the parents.

Our research will look at what exists now and what the parents in our study think would be helpful to them as they rear their child. We shall, at the end, develop ideas about ways we and local churches can more effectively come around these families and help them find peace, refreshment and better ways to lead their families.

If you have suggestions, write me.

Gary Sweeten
gary@sweetenlife.com

New Web Site to Visit

Let the little children come to me.

My dear friend Dorothy Faye Geverdt has put up a nice web describing their ministry to disabled kids in Romania. The ministry is Romanian Handicapped Ministry and is led by several local men and women.

The way Communist countries treated persons with handicaps was brutal, callous and heartless. Despite often saying that they were supportive of the rights of minorities, women and poor the track records of places like Russia and Romania were awful. The Eastern Bloc fell because of their cruelty to all persons but the terrible ways they treated the handicapped was especially egregious.

The Romanian Handicapped Ministry is trying to make up for all those years of neglect and downright persecution. Please pray for the ministry and support them as you can.

As a footnote, I am amazed and saddened to see the United States of America moving backward into treating handicapped persons like the Romanians did under their Communist dictators. President Obama is taking aggressive actions to remove their rights and make sure they are discriminated against in the worst way: abortion.

About 85% of all Down Syndrome babies are already killed in the womb. If Obama has his way that percent will rise to 100%. Moving toward Romania in ethics and morals is not my idea of an enlightened nation.

Idols in the Pulpit

I just read a blog by Pam Hogeweide on the topic of some preachers who love the limelight and who become "idols" to a lot of Believers. Here is my response.

Pam,

Well written ideas about celebrity. My 2 cents.

Immature folks need some person to idolize. Almost every young believer idolizes a leader, a writer, a preacher or an apostle. Because of that, some narcissistic folks, usually males will puff themselves up and enhance their image.

Most of us will outgrow the need for idols and stop attending the BIG NAME gatherings while the immature will keep pumping them and holding seminars where a few can brag. It cannot be stopped but as God grows people up they will stop it. Here is the catch. When lots of people become “Seasoned Believers” and stop flocking after the big names the press will report it as a "sign that Christianity is dying”. That kind of Christianity needs to die.

There are almost no places where Seasoned Believers can come together for meaty discipleship and in depth interactions. Most people are left to attend shallow, showy, hyper active gatherings where BIG NAMES can talk. I know of hundreds of Seasoned Believers that are bored to tears. The research at Willow shows it but still the BIG NAMES want to put on more shows with bigger screens and more video tapes. That is giving 1% milk to carnevours.

So, we have millions of Seasoned Believers who came to faith in Christ during the Fourth Great Revival of the Seventies who want to become the Fourth Great Awakening but the RULING CLASS of leaders are still feeding them 1% milk.

What to do? Stop complaining about the idols and the immature and focus on the mature so we can go deeper no matter what others do.

Shalom,

Gary Sweeten

Prayer is Good for Us

Two researchers at the University of Cincinnati have found data that supports what we who believe experience daily, God is good. No wonder we call it "Good News".

Way back in the Seventies I started studying the relationship between health and faith. Now, modern research methods have allowed us to see that being spiritual adds more to longevity than exercise and many other health building activities.


Go to my web site and buy my books for more good stuff.

Gary Sweeten

Heart and Soul in Witnessing

I wrote a few posts ago about the technical brilliance and the soullessness of much of modern life. While in Norway and Denmark I saw the advance of social and politics that makes sure people live in relative comfort. They call it "A guaranteed quality of life." Scandinavia is the model for Liberals in the USA and we are headed rapidly in that direction.

The problem with such an ideal is the lack of initiative taken by ordinary people to innovate, relate with love and care to each other in a deep manner. It is easier to let the government take care of our problem and problem people. But that does not work very well. People with psychological and relational pain need love, care, kindness and sharing in a community not just pills and a psychiatric hospital staffed by bureaucrats.

It also means that witnessing is frowned upon. So most Christ Followers find it increasingly difficult to share their faith in Jesus. That is way too personal, emotional and agressive.

My seminar in Norway was held in a four star summer resort on the sea. Being winter, the rates with a meter of snow on the ground were low. Some thirty of us came together to grow deeper into personal relationship with God, self and others.

The staff at the resort were attentive and professional.

During one of my sessions on developing personal relationships with others I suggested that building caring relationships is most effective way to witness about Christ's love. I finished the session by asking how many of them knew the names of our servers and if any had spoken to them personally in the first two days of our visit. Few raised their hands.

I had suggested that the Jesus Model as presented in Luke 10 is a great evangelistic model. It tells us to bless people with peace as we go about our business. Then, we are to observe on whom that peace rests because that would alert us to the persons that were interested in Christ.

The group took the hint and thereafter became warmly inviting to the staff. One woman was fluent in Russian and discovered that two of the staff were from the former USSR. They chatted in Russian and the smiles were wide on their beaming faces.

One man asked how he might pray for a waitress and she burst into tears. She later asked him to pray that she would overcome her fear of males so she could develop a healthy relationship with a man.

A Pastor discovered that one of the wait staff was from his hometown and shared his unique way of speaking. They spent hours together reminiscing about the "old days" in the village.

In a few days this caring, Evangelical group of turned on, Spirit filled men and women discovered voices of compassion. They overcame the natural "Scandinavian Shyness" and showed strangers the love and concern of Jesus .

Two other groups were also having conferences at the hotel. They were loud, drunken and having a lot of "fun". The differences between them and us were obvious. We chatted with each other and the staff with warmth, empathy and respect. Some responded back with requests for prayer and understanding their loneliness. Even though sober we had more joy.

Take a look at how powerful respect, love, understanding and warmth can be, even to an atheist.

Gary Sweeten