Want Your Kids to Make Better Grades?

Recent research on the relationship of church attendance and better grades is heartening to those of us who take the trouble to get our children in Sunday school and church. The study is found in the journal LiveScience and says: "If you want to boost your teenager's grade point average, take the kid to church. Or, a new study suggests, find some similar social activity to involve them in.
Researchers found that church attendance has as much effect on a teen's GPA as whether the parents earned a college degree. Students in grades 7 to 12 who went to church weekly also had lower dropout rates and felt more a part of their schools.
On average, students whose parents received a four-year college degree average a GPA .12 higher than those whose parents completed high school only. Students who attend religious services weekly average a GPA .144 higher than those who never attend services, said Jennifer Glanville, a sociologist at the University of Iowa."

This is just the latest study to affirm the positive aspects of church involvement for children, youth and adults. Just attending church is thought to lengthen life by three to five years and we know that kids who attend church drink and smoke less as well as do less drugs.

So, don't just send them to church; take them there and stay for a dose of healthy living yourself.

Sweeten Life Systems is all about "A lifetime of great relationships" and going to church as a family to worship God and follow the way of love is essential to building great relationships.

New Grand Baby

Papa Sweeten

Emma is sleeping peacefully as Papa Sweeten holds her with love. These new grand kids keep us young.

Karen and I are in Pittsburgh visiting Tim and Shelley Sweeten with son Jack and brand new baby girl Emma Taylor Sweeten. I am posting a few photos of Emma and her mom and dad so all of the family can see them. My email is not working so here they are.

The Decline of Protestant America

There is a great article in the online magazine First Things about the rapid decline of the "Mainline Churches" in America over the past fifty years. If you are interested in promoting better relationships with God through Jesus Christ in America it is a good read.

If you are interested in a strong America you need to know the history of how and why our nation was so strongly influenced by Protestant Christians. Take a look at these stats.
The high-water mark came around 1965, when members of the various churches broadly within these denominations constituted well over 50 percent of the American population. Their numbers, although not their percentages, maintained a little growth through 1975. But, as Kenneth Woodward pointed out in a much discussed 1993 Newsweek ­feature, they have been “running out of money and members and meaning” ever since.
Every survey produces different results, but all of them report a Mainline Protestantism in rapid decline. According to the Yearbook of American and Canadian Churches, only three Mainline denominations still have enough members to be included among the ten largest churches: the United Methodist Church, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.).

All three have suffered serious losses: the Presby­terians down 1.6 percent over the previous year, the Lutherans down 1.09, and the Methodists down 0.79. The other Mainline churches show the same pattern: The Episcopalians, for instance, lost 1.55 percent of their members in 2005. By 2025, runs a bitter joke among conservative Anglicans, the Episcopal Church will have one priest for every congregant. And these recent numbers are actually a slight improvement. The greatest damage was done from 1990 to 2000—a decade in which the United Church of Christ declined 14.8 percent, for example, and the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) 11.6 percent.

Those of you who lead or influence your church need to read this article, written in a conservative Roman Catholic magazine. It may help you see what is healthy and unhealthy in the church.

Love and Relationships

Let me tell you a story. Karen and I just returned from lunch at "The Chef's Deli" that is located down the road from us in Sharonville. On the way back we spotted a light truck hauling a long trailer with a long sign painted on the side. It was in large bold letters and announced the evangelistic intentions of the driver. Would you like to guess what it said?


I have been all over the world and talked with Believers of every kind and description from almost every tribe and tongue. I love to hear their stories about how God touched them despite all manner of cultural, mental, theological and religious barriers. In almost every case the barrier busting approach that was most effective had a similar theme: Some kind of caring relationship.


In some cases the story was about how God broke through and showed His mercy, grace and love to an unsuspecting unbeliever. At other times it was a friend or family member who showed the love of God through kindness. In many cases God broke in through a dream, vision or miracle and shocked the unbeliever into his senses.


Of all the cases I know, however, none came as a result of reading a slogan on the side of a truck or trailer. In fact, many people see slogans as offensive rather than loving. I remember a time when some organization was promoting the "I Found It Campaign" and placed "I Found It" signs and bumper stickers all over town. In response, a group of Jewish adherents made signs that said, "We Never Lost It".


The Bible is clear that loving relationships are the greatest way to bring people to faith in Christ. Jesus told the Disciples in Luke 9 and 10 to go out and bless the people around them with love and peace. This is the best way to preach good news. Jesus did not not paint impersonal slogans on wagons and ox carts. Instead he touched people with love and care and healing power.

What is your approach?

Want to know the painted slogan?





Heaven or Hell?





It is your choice!





If people driving next to that truck had read and started to confess and repent of their sins we would have seen massive traffic tie ups and accidents. I don't ever remember hearing stories about that happening at bill boards or bumper stickers. Do you?

Pray for Christians in Indonesia

It is frightening for Christians in Asia to see the rising attacks against them and their children. Historically places like Indonesia have been rather tolerant about minority groups such as Christians. Recently however, hate filled groups in that largest Muslim nation in the world have become filled with rage and threats.

A recent story on Fox News tells how the students and teachers in one school have been forced to leave the school grounds because of threats of violence.

Several years ago I was in Singapore to teach. At the Hotel Asia where I stayed I met a man of about fifty at breakfast and we chatted for awhile. I assumed he was a Muslim but in a very short while he said, "I saw you praying over your food and decided to come over to talk. I am a Christian and want to have some fellowship while I am in Singapore."

He related how a group of vigilante Muslims had attacked his home kampung or village and he and the others had barely escaped into the jungle. According to this man it was getting more dangerous by the day for children to attend Christian schools and go to church buildings. He asked for our prayers.

The rising intimidation of radical Muslims around the world is also affecting Western nations. Muslims are scaring many leaders into submission in Europe and allowing them to get away with crimes of intimidation against lapsed Muslims and other "infidels".

Pray for these Muslims to meet Christ and follow the Prince of Peace rather than Mohamed the Warrior.

What I Do

In the last post I mentioned that it is difficult for me to say exactly what I do because I try to see the whole person and the whole picture. But, I learned many years ago that this global view does not work if I want to help a person change. Then I must focus on a specific behavior and empower that person to change it.

Many of our most cherisehd theories about influence are wrong. As I mentioned before, I was taught a bunch of different theories about influence in grad school but very little about how those ideas influenced clients to alter their behavior.

People usually go to see a counselor because something in their life is not working. So, we can safely assume that they want a helper to assist them to change. But that means we need to discover exactly what behavior is not working and then change it.

Our book, Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty takes a look at influence and change and sets forth the ways anyone can increase his/her ability to influence others. The most basic insight is to Look for what works and do more of it. Ignore that which is not working and emphasize the things that do work.

Be a detective for good and for God. Do you want your child to change? Look for positive behaviors and reward them. Look for negative behaviors and ignore them. We so often do the opposite by being so focused on negative behaviors that we unwittingly reward them. As a rule verbal injunctions are aimed at negative behaviors and actually reward them even when we think we are being punitive.

Guy Jones was drinking far too much. He came to see me because he was threatened with divorce by his wife. He came to the office angrily and reluctantly and told me in no uncertain terms that he was not going to quit drinking because he loved beer.

Guy: "I drink all the time because I really love," he said. "I am too old to change now and even if I wanted to I don't know if I could. All my friends drink and I have gotten so used to it that I would die on the spot if I stopped."

Gary: "So," I replied after some time of listening. "You are constantly drinking every day and every night and you are sure it is impossible to quit."

Guy: "Yes, that is about right."

Gary: "you must have an unusual job to be able to drink all day at work."

Guy: "I can't drink at work. I would be fired if I did. I have to be sober and clean or my customers would smell it on my breath and stop buying from me."

Gary: (In an Innocent tone) "Oh. I thought you drank all the time. every day."

Guy: "Well yeah, I do but not at work."

Gary: "How can you have so much self control at work and not at other times? Do you get the heebie jeebies?"

Guy: "No, I manage OK because I know I have to."

This is called "Looking for good" and it is designed to show that a person has more self control than may be apparent. It rewards the positive behavior of abstinence rather than the negative behavior of drinking.

Contrast this approach with someone who preaches against "demon rum" and tells Guy how addictive it is. "You can never stop once it has control of you, Guy. It is a serious disease with deadly consequences." Does this approach convey faith, hope and love?

Look for good and for God at work. Anyone stuck in a pattern of self destruction does not need more bad news but may respond to good news. Order Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty if you want to learn how to improve your ability to influence others. Just send me a note and I will send you the book.

What do I do?

I must admit it is hard for me to give simple "elevator speech" about what my ministry is all about. Part of my problem is a genetic defect. I am a big picture person who loves to cover all my bases and I do mean ALL.

I am, therefore, constantly trying to be holistic and make sure I not only know everything about a topic but also teaching others everything I know. Here is an example. I entered Graduate School at Southern Illinois to study Student Personnel Administration and Counseling college age students. I learned all the various theories of counseling and influence and change and told by the professors that I had to choose one of them. But, I saw that each theory had some validity and each would work with a different person or group.

As a result I learned all of them and decided to use the one that works best with each person or group. When I am asked to clearly identify the theory I use in counseling I answer with several different ones. That is OK for me but confusing for others.

My mother died without being able to tell people what I do. She said, "I just tell people you are a preacher." I just agree and go on.

I am a person that is heavily invested in helping people develop better relationship skills. I want to see healthy individuals, healthy families and healthy work places. I am a person who tries to foster growth, healing and love, especially with Christians. That is hard to pidgeon hole too narrowly.