Church Conflict

Write me with your anonymous stories of the most awful stories about church conflict you can remember. e mail is on web page.

I was asked to leave a church in 1969. The Pastor and Deacons called me into a "meeting" with them to discuss certain allegations of my bad behavior. When I got there I was confronted with a list of bad behavior that, in my view, was not bad at all. In fact, I was rather happy with what I did and they agreed with me that I did what they said but it was "splitting the church".

Karen and I were Sunday school teachers of the College and Career Class in a church on the far west side of Cincinnati. Can you imagine what I was doing that they disliked and I was very happy about? This behavior was so bad, in their view, that they wanted me to leave the church.

My behavior would be considered to be positive today but back then it was thought to be terrible. Want to guess what it was? Write your comments here or on Face Book.

Book Now On the Web

I am publishing many of our writings on the web. E Books are easier to distribute, cheaper to develop and available to a much wider audience. I currently have several papers and two books available on the Sweeten Life ministry web site.

The first book we published online was Healing Souls, Touching Hearts. It is a summary of some of our most personal and passionate beliefs about ministry, caring, counseling and healing. Steve Griebling and I wrote it while we were teaching regularly in Singapore on the importance of Cell Groups. In many ways it is the slogan for all the major ministries we have founded and directed.

The second book by Steve and myself, Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty, is designed for those who are called to be Peer or Para Professional Helpers. It is, in fact, very powerful for even Professional Therapists because so few get really great practical training in Graduate school. In this book you will find and integration of counseling research and Bible truths like you have never seen before. If you are involved in trying to help people make good decisions, read Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty.

These are easy to download and it is easy to donate to Sweeten Life Systems, if you are so inclined. We hope that http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=8208149333766966737 people all over the world will use these books. They are great tools that God has developed for us. Now we can more easily spread the good news of Jesus Christ and His abundant life through the Internet.

Go to the web page and then to Resources and take a look.Download a book and some other materials such as the check lists we wrote for anxiety, depression and marriage satifaction. We also provide a paper that help Pastors and Peer Helpers know when to refer to a Professional.

Great Blog by Dave Workman

Dave Workman is Pastor at the Vineyard Community Church in Cincinnati. He and Steve Sjogren were essentially co-pastors and founders of the VCC and he continues to lead the congregation through all the ups and downs of ministry in a mega church. Yes, there are ups and downs, especially in big churches and as a Pastor.

Whether it is the world, the flesh or the devil that comes against us, it is a war. I have never seen a large church that did not experience very rough seas just when good things seemed to be happening.

Dave writes about that on his blog What I Meant to Say and I think he does a great job. Take a look and see what you think.

Church Growth

I am reading two books that lay out the way we can facilitate the missional and evangelistic missions of the churches of Jesus Christ. Church attendance is decreasing across America. It has already hit bottom in Europe. We need some new models of church if the situation is to be changed and churches are to thrive.

Both books tell how we have reached the end of n era. No longer can we expect people to thrive and expand the impact of the church by keeping the old wine skins of church structures. The era of hierarchical, bureaucratic organizational structures has passed into the dust bin of history. A new approach is desperately needed if Christianity is to thrive.

The first book is The Starfish and the Spider. The second book is Social Entrepreneurship. Go right now to Amazon.com and order them if you want to see revival and renewal begin in America.

Both books talk about using small groups of committed persons to change the world. The authors of Starfish brilliantly describe why the Apache's defeated the Spanish armies while the Incas and others were destroyed by the Spanish. The authors of Social Entrepreneurship tell similar stories about how small groups of dedicate men and women defeated poverty, Muslim Fundamentalism and natural disasters.

They are insightful, inspiring, easy to read and have great stories.

Polygamy in America

The current controversy surrounding the military policy toward homosexuals openly practicing their sexual desires is raging all around us. At the same time, many Christian Pastors are asking about ways they can best minister to the people in their congregations that are actively hooking up with others male and female; human and animal. The current push toward sexual confusion and sexual sharing is a headlong rush toward disaster and we are on the lip of the precipice right now.

The political pundits usually discuss homosexual behavior in the military and heterosexual sharing on grounds of personal choice, fairness and civil liberties. It is a "legal matter' they say. There are no consequences beyond accepting all persons as they are.

Pastors, on the other hand, tend to discuss the issue in moral terms. The Left Wing group like the aggressively gay Episcopal Bishop Robinson said it is awful that Conservatives preach hate between parents and their gay children. Conservatives say that Bishop Robinson preaches hate for them and for God's Law.

There are other important psychological, emotional and physical issues to be faced. The USA and Western Europe is moving toward what can only be described as "Practical Polygamy in Homo and Heterosexual Behavior". Technically, this might not be polygamy but it is the sharing of sexual partners without regard to the long term results.

What do you think will be the results of such activities in family life, society and our institutions like the military? Because of the high divorce and remarriage rates we are already seeing the rapid destruction of emotional balance in children and youth along with a dramatic increase in addictions, mental disorders and poor parenting skills.

Most murders and violence are committed by relatives or a person close to the victim. Open, unbridled sexual interactions leads to destruction. The most dangerous time for a women and her children is when she attempts to leave her violent partner. How will such emotional upheavals affect the military? We are already seeing it affect them because of the importation of more women in the ranks of fighters.

Sex is not robotic. It cannot be part of the military or hook ups without deep emotional, spiritual and physical implications. Yet, the top military brass and politicians act like we are discussing test tube babies not real people.

How to Motivate Christians to Serve and Evangelize

Many of us use statistics in sermons, talks and papers. Sometimes we even use them in our blogs. Unfortunately we often mistakenly misuse the stats and give a wrong impression.

A wonderful article in the online version of Christianity Today explains the proper and improper uses of data and actually clears up some badly misinterpreted statistics from the past. For example, are Christian marriages breaking up as fast as marriages between atheists and other non believers? Are Christian youth leaving their churches at an alarming rate never to return? The article takes on these and other statistics that have frightened all of us.

The proper use of data can help us plan better and reach out more effectively. However, when we misuse data in an attempt to "motivate" Christians to do more evangelism or serve more it is wrong and harmful to out cause. I suggest that we try the methods of Jesus as revealed in Luke 10. He sent his disciples out two by two ahead of him into a lot of villages and towns. He told them to "Bless the people with peace."

It seems to me that encouraging peace is a better motivating factor than fear, anxiety and worry. And, Jesus encouraged His friends to go out with peace, confidence and love. As we can see from the last verses of Luke 10, His method really worked well.

Leadership Skills in Desperate Need

The Procter and Gamble Corporation has selected a new CEO. His name is Bob McDonald and he is a very interesting guy. P&G brings in something like $80 Billion Dollars annually. Think about that for a moment. That is a lot of money.

P&G employs about 130,000 persons who come from almost every nation on earth and now work all over the world. That is a huge number of people to pay, manage and care for. They have many, many products, each one competing against other great products. It is a constant, daily, weekly and monthly task to stay competitive and on top of their competitors.

How do they do it? Well, P&G is the most prolific marketing company in the world, but that is not nearly enough to stay competitive these days. The key is great people with great skills. What kind of person is needed to head such an enormous company?

Take a look at the article in the Cincinnati Enquirer about their new leader and get a sense of what skills they think the new leader had to have in order to take on such a big task. Then go back to my post on The Fruit of the Spirit and re-read what the Apostle Paul said about Christian leaders. (This story in Fortune also talks about Mr. McDonald.)

What about Church and Para Church Leadership? What do we need to compete with the world, the flesh and the devil?

Welcoming Old Friends to the EMI Homecoming

 

Lois Dunn Welcomes
 

Lillian Rumford Welcomes

 

Betty Reid Welcomes
 

Welcome to the Marriott

Prayers for Russia

It is dangerous and difficult to live in Russia, especially if you are trying to make positive changes. I have enormous respect for my friends in Russia and keep them in my prayers. I am asking you to pray for them as well.

Although this story about the killing of people in Russia has nothing to do with our friends or with the church there, it is a reminder of the need to bring the good news of Christ into a dark and dangerous world. We in the USA are so blessed to live in a safe nation that, for the most part, protects its citizens.

Here is the story from Russia.

Just days after the kidnapping and murder of prominent human rights activist Natalya Estemirova, another civil rights activist in Russia has been buried after being found dead. The body of Andrei Kulagin, head of Spravedlivost ('Justice'), was discovered in a quarry on July 10, roughly 600 miles north of Moscow.

Please keep the Russian people in your prayers. The Believers there are doing their best to bring peace, love and joy as well as healing to the populace. It is a long hard road but in Christ still possible.

When there is no God? Chaos!

"A couple of Swedish parents have stirred up debate in the country by refusing to reveal whether their two-and-a-half-year-old child is a boy or a girl. . . .

In an interview with newspaper Svenska Dagbladet in March, the parents were quoted saying their decision was rooted in the feminist philosophy that gender is a social construction. 'We want Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mould from the outset,'

Pop's mother said. 'It's cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead.' "



June 23, 2009

Are the Swedes alone in denying reality? Evidently the mother has chosen a female role. What would happen if she chose to be a male and got pregnant?(

If it is a female, I would like to see her stand and pee.)

Save the Monkeys-Kill the Babies

Sometimes I wonder about the Congress. Especially when they do things like pass an emergency bill to save monkeys from being pets.

Read Ben Smith's blog.

Fast action on the Hill

Forget the stimulus -- this one moved really fast.

From the Humane Society:U.S. House of Representatives Passes Captive

Primate Safety ActWASHINGTON (Feb. 24, 2009) — Eight days after a chimpanzee kept as a pet attacked and critically injured a Connecticut woman, the U.S. House of Representatives passed the Captive Primate Safety Act, H.R. 80, introduced by U.S. Reps. Earl Blumenauer, D-Ore., and Mark Kirk, R-Ill., to stop interstate commerce in primates as pets. The bill passed by a vote of 323 to 95. The bill now moves for consideration to the U.S. Senate, where the effort to pass the legislation is being led by U.S. Sens. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., and David Vitter, R-La.

This is especially tragic when we consider that Congress refuses to ban late term abortions. Life is cheap but monkeys are precious.

Gary Sweeten

Vision for Greater Cincinnati

The wise leaders in Greater Cincinnati have brought together a group of citizens to figure out ways to keep us strong in the future. That is a very tough job. It is a planning nightmare because nobody really knows the future or how to make it happy for a city. You can read the report on the Cincinnati Enquirers web page.

I urge all citizens to interact with the media on these matters. As I see things, the media are getting more and more interested in our views because they are losing eyeballs. Here is my letter to the editor about the report.

Dear Editor:

I tried to read the 360 report carefully and see exactly what was being promoted. I had a few serious concerns.

1. The vision seems extremely "Blue Sky" as if they did little but brainstorm and fill a few flip charts with great ideas. Where are the specifics?

2. I did not see much in the way of supporting small businesses, which are the great engine of employment, innovation and community support.

3. There were some Politically Correct hints at inclusion but the report focused on only two groups that I can recall: a. Young persons and, b. Singles. Not long ago the Enquirer had a great series on the need to keep Seasoned Citizens and their billions of dollars in savings as well as their unmatched depth of experience in the area. Where is the 360 concern for all those resources?

4. Faith based groups were left off completely.

Are we to assume that these were accidentally overlooked or intentionally excluded to focus on non-traditional, non-family, irreligious poor youth?2/16/2009 7:45:39 PM

Gary Sweeten

Leadership Must Slow Down

I recently found a listing of "The Top 100 Blogs on Leadership". When I went to the site I found one blog named, Slow Leadership. I like that title.

Leadership is slow because peopole change slowly. Organizations change even more slowly and we leaders are way to fast in how we expect them to change.

In my books on listening and influence I have often noted that a listener's mind runs ten times faster than another person can talk. That menas we are uring the speaker to talk faster or we will interrupt them to get our ideas into their mouths. As my friend Larry Chrouch says, "I am not an active listener but I am an active interruptor." (Larr is really a great listener.)

Leaders who interrupt and try to hasten change usually end up slowing it down.
It is not possible to push a chain. It is also not possible to push a church. Good leaders attract others and pull them forward. Are you pushing or pulling?

Gary Sweeten