Compassion or Completely Ignore

Now that you have seen the raw numbers, I have a question: "what can we do about having so many neighbors facing a lifetime of medical. emotional, relational and spiritual barriers? Is there anything we can do to show compassion?

What would it take to really make a difference in the lives of these families? Do we need to have special training? Will I have to return to college and get another degree? If we get involved is there a danger the child could get sick or even die when I am caring for him or her? Do we have to sign a confidentiality statement or be in violation of the HIPPA Laws?

Well, it is easy to answer some of these questions. For example. HIPPA does not apply to caring for a person. Some of you do not even know what HIPPA is, but I have gotten this question several times already and I need to calm people's fears.

Second, our focus is on supporting the parents. Here is what we know about the challenges of rearing children. Parenting is not for cowards. It is stressful, wearying and full of overwhelming challenges that call for wisdom and experience. Oh, an by the way, it can be expensive. For parents and siblings and extended family members of children with a serious medical problem, the stresses, costs and demands seven days each week 24 hours per day are much higher.

Think and pray about what you as a young parent would need from friends, neighbors and caring Christians. Go through your own days with a small child or two and think what it costs you to always be on call. I will share later with you specifically what the parents in our yearlong study told us they needed, but I want you to think it over on your own.

One story comes to mind from a young mother with a son who was finding self discipline a hard thing to master. She went to a festival alone with two children and the eldest started taking his clothes off. As he ran before his mom she was carrying her baby and trying to catch the speeding kid who was rapidly moving ahead and re-moving his clothes.

Mom had such amazing resiliency. Despite originally feeling embarrassed, she decided that day to stop trying to become a super mom and be a regular mom with two hyper energetic sons. No more Wonder Woman, just be herself and enjoy those kids as much as possible.

Blessings and go to our web page and read some of it. You may also want to watch one or two of our videos. They are produced especially for parents and care givers but the principles will apply to anyone who is alive and kicking through life.

We will train folks with our Special Life Skills so they can tend to the parents, listen to them and help with practical things. We have a simple plan to positively support the families in need and help them achieve a place of joy, resilience and family love.

Thanks for reading...I would love to hear your feedback and questions. I am awfully bored just writing to myself.

By the way, we are putting up our display at the Xavier University sponsored Symposium Friday called Remarkable Parents. It will honor parents of children with a special need who have shown love, caring, innovation and resiliency.


Gary Sweeten

Increasing Family Dysfunction in America

As a Family Therapist I read research and news from other therapists and experts about the state of families in the USA. Frankly, many of the writers are deeply concerned about what they see as the fast growing decrease in the health of family relationships. We see at a remarkable and serious downturn in the ability of families and the institutions that impact families to deal with the natural, normal stresses of life.

In 1940 the American divorce rate was some 16% and now it is above 50% for a three fold or 300% increase. We know that in some instances people stayed together despite serious and unhealthy relationships but even it we doubled the percent of marriages that failed in 1940 we will still be shocked by how high the numbers are today.

Every marriage has ups and downs. They always have had highs and lows and they always will. However, one of the most important ways to discern the overall health of a society is how well they deal with tough times. A 50% divorce rate indicates that our society is in trouble; deep, deep trouble.

One of the most insightful lessons I ever learned about family life was to assess how well the entire family unit is functioning from generation to generation. Some of that health or un-health is based on the individual psychological functioning of each family member. However, when we look at how well a family deals with transitions from developmental stage to the next stage we get a new insights about the causes and cures of dysfunction.

Most of my Doctoral education in Counseling focused on the individuals inner life as the cause and cure of problems and successes. Over the years parents have brought their kids to me and said, "Fix this kid. I can't do anything with him or her". For a long time I would try to fix the kid as if he were the only one involved in the problem. Now I look at this kid's "problems" as indicative of the way the entire family relates to each other from generation to generation.

That does not mean that the kid is innocent. He is part of the problem and part of the solution if we will just listen to the reasons he/she is acting the way that troubles mom and dad.

Sometimes it is the only way the child can ask for help for mom and dad.

Sometimes it is the only way mom and dad will actually communicate with each other.

Sometimes the kid's issues are lengthening shadows of parental secrets and the need to confess to each other.

Sometimes it is the best way for a kid to obey the Bible's command to "Honor your father and mother so you days will be long and prosperous on the earth."

One thing is for sure about parenting. It is extremely difficult today in light of the downward spiral of the society. Recently a six year old boy was expelled from grade school because he made a hat like his dads for a school project. On the hat he made and place a tiny rifle just like the one on his dad's hat. But because the school has what they call, "A Zero Tolerance Policy" about guns in school, they had to expel the child.

As a society we are increasingly growing in our promotion of unthinking policies. This policy is so stupid, ignorant and ridiculous that no one with a brain of a marsh mellow would adopt it in the first place and certainly no one with the ability to reason rationally would implement it in this instance. This is only one small example of how unthinking and reactive our society is getting. And, it is occurring even in the halls of education by teachers and administrators. Any leader that does such an automatic, reptilian thing as this needs to be fired immediately.

How can parents rear peaceful, responsible and non reactive kids in such a climate? The only hope for parents is to build strong relationships with each other and our extended family members. Grandparents are very important to generational health as are uncles and aunts, friends and church members.

First, parents must work hard to heal all wounds from past generations. Forgive all hurts and sins of parents, grandparents, and siblings.

Second, get in a harmonious relationship with your spouse, even if you are divorced. (Divorce is easy but separation is impossible. Marriages last forever no matter what the court says.)

Third, develop healthy friendships for yourself as a support system. Fourth, get involved in a good, relational church.

We cannot outsource parenting.

Idolatry

I posted an interesting article on my other blog Spiritual Healing and Growth about idols. Take a look.

You shall have no other gods before me!

Satire: A New Spiritual Gift

I am officially naming satire as an authentic spiritual gift. Satire is closely related to paradox on one end and is often slips into cynicism when people get angry. Yes, satire is poking fun at something without the edge of anger or personal attacks.

Making fun of people when they are not laughing always borders on ugliness so cynicism is out of order. But cynicism can be beautiful and educational. Wikipedia says:

In satire, human or individual vices, follies, abuses, or shortcomings are censured by ridicule, derision, burlesque, irony, or other methods, ideally with the intent of improvement. Although satire is usually meant to be funny, its purpose is often not so much humor for its own sake as an attack on something strongly disapproved by the satirist, using the weapon of wit.

Some of my posts here are intended to be satirical and allow readers to laugh at the foibles and craziness of our age.

The Bible has satire in it. Remember when Elijah was fighting against the Priests of Baal? They were unsuccessfully calling on their phony, powerless gods to come and set their pyre on fire? Elijah laughed so hard he could hardly stand it. Then he mocked them with great satirical questions like, "Where are your gods? Did they have to go to the toilet?"

Sometimes the best way to bring down an opponents position is to make fun of it. Modern comics devastated George W. Bush and his administration. However, so far, Mr. Obama has the comics on his side in the war of satire.

The Left Wing of American politics seems to do political comedy/satire better than Conservatives. Ronald Reagan was very funny and quite satirical but not many can fill his shoes. Governor Sarah Palin could rival President Reagan if she works hard but so far she is too up tight to consistently bring down the house with her humor.

The perfect target for satire is a person or group that is uptight, pompous, rich, strong or arrogant but inept. This is one reason that people make fun of the Federal Government. I try my best to come up with satirical insights and I even post some of them. Tell me what you think about satire.

What Works to End Poverty

I recently read a great story in the Chronicle of Philanthropy about a charity that really works to help people change their own lives. It is called, The Family Independence Initiative.

The story told of how the founder, Mr. Maurice Miller, had a dramatic change of heart and mind about how to help people get out of chronic poverty. At the time of his conversion Mr. Miller was head of a very large, very expensive, much lauded organization with numerous awards for ending poverty. What happened to change his mind?

Mr. Miller was enrolling gang members in a job-training program and had only one more spot. He gave the position to a young man who’d been in prison for armed robbery rather than the man’s friend, who had never been incarcerated.
When Mr. Miller explained why he had to make that decision—because the charity’s criteria favored people who’d been in trouble and seemed to need the most help—the chosen man nudged his friend and said, “See, you should have come on that job with me.” It was then Mr. Miller realized the message his group was sending.

What message was his group sending? "You must become a thief and refuse to work if you expect us to help you!"

Now Mr. Miller is changing the way he works. He founded the Family Independence Initiative and started telling people how to organize themselves into self directing groups of hard working people who used their own insights, knowledge and understanding to defeat their daily problems. When someone calls the FII and asks for help, they are told to go to their group of supportive citizens first.

I learned long ago not to "Over Function" for people. In alcohol and drug treatment that is called "Co-Dependency or Enabling" and it kills addicts rather that curing them. It kills initiative, it kills hard work, it kills self esteem it keeps people in poverty.

The work of Mr. Miller and his group is inspiring, powerful, educational and it works for much less money. Read the story and weep at the cost of failing to help people. Failures are much higher than successes in financial outlay to say nothing of the human costs.

Your support of Sweeten Life Systems is support for things that work. We facilitate healthy systems, healthy networks and healthy relationships. We find doing for people distressing and enabling. We find helping them find their own answers to be liberating and empowering.

How to Help Christian Sinners

Wait!

Stop!

Cut that out!

How can I write such an outlandish headline? What does it mean? Either a person is a Christian and holy or a sinner and not a Christian. Those two things are mutually exclusive.

Really?

I came to the Lord at age ten so I have been ruminating on this issue for a very long time. I grew up in an environment where I thought that being a Christian meant that I was supposed to be perfect just like God was perfect. I thought I knew what perfect meant when I read it in the King James Bible so I tried hard to be a perfectionist. I failed; and failed; and failed; and gave up.

Once I gave up I pretended to be a sinner who did not care anything about God, church or the Bible. I was at war with myself and with God's ways. Failure at perfection made me into a failure at life. Then, one night in June of 1958 I was headed to Benton, Illinois to pick up my gambling, smoking, drinking carousing friends and go to a bar in West City. This was a town of ten bars and fifty houses where underage kids could carouse without police intervention. I loved West City because I could put on a "bad boy persona" and no one would know I was from a Christian home.

I had left Ina, population 300 or so, early so I could miss the Preacher Brother Boatright and the Evangelist who was holding a revival in our Church. After work at Dowzer Electric Company in Mt. Vernon I hurried out of town in a 1957 Ford Fairlane. But I did not get far because even a new Ford can't outrun God's Spirit.

The County Line Road is two miles south of Ina and I sped pretty fast toward that demarcation point between Jefferson and Franklin Counties in a big hurry to escape the convicting presence of the Holy Spirit. A little over one mile from Ina I had a strange experience. I can still remember that I was passing the Burma Shave signs that dotted the right side of Highway 37. The dash lights on that Ford Fairlane brightened and a strange cloud filled the car. Then I heard it: "Gary! Choose this day who you will serve."

The voice in my head was not loud but certainly strong. Not shrill but with a sense of finality. I knew it was God speaking. I had only one choice. When a boy is reared in the Holiness Movement he knows that we never say "No" to God. I said, "Yes."

Actually I did more than that. I replied: "You Lord. Only you have the words of Life."

The lights dimmed and a sense of perfect peace filled the car. My life was changed forever. But I was still not 100% perfect and without sins, faults and stumbles. But I still had peace and knew who I was in Christ.

All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We are born less than perfect with areas of Bondage, Rebellion, Guilt and Shame. Thankfully, God provided His only Son to take care of all four of those core issues.

Bondage: Dead: God Regenerated me and I was Born Again to new life as a Child of God

Rebellion: My way is best: God Converted me and turned my heart toward Him

True Moral Guilt: Deserve Justice: God Justified me and Forgave that Guilt

Shame: Loss of Identity and Inheritance: God Adopted me as an Eldest Son with His Family Identity and eternal Inheritance

After I was Reborn, Converted, Justified and Adopted I stumbled, made errors in judgment and sinned. But I am still in His family.

"Nothing can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus." RO 8:39

My kids and grand kids have my name and my inheritance. They will always be mine no matter what they do. They are imperfect and struggle in immature ways. I expect children to be imperfect but to grow in maturity, just as I did.

It is kind of crazy to believe that any person can be without sin, rebellion, guilt and feelings of shame. God provided a way for us to confess our sins and pray for each other so we would be healed. James 5:16

If we never had any rebellion or bondage or guilt why did God tell us how to deal with it?

How do we deal with Christian sinners?

Expect everyone to fail, sin and have guilt

Provide safe places for all persons to come for confession and forgiveness

Tell stories about falling, confession, repentance, and healing

Ask God what He wants to teach us each time we fall

Come to the throne of grace to find mercy and grace in our time of need

What Must Change?

The biggest challenge for Christians is not sharing the gospel so others can come to faith in Christ. That seems awfully clear. One must recognize that Christ died for our sins and ask God to apply the sacrifice to us. Everyone must come to salvation through Christ.

It is not necessary to know any theology or Bible in order to receive Christ. The Holy Spirit does the work. When I was young I thought getting people saved was my responsibility. I was very concerned about the style, the words and the environment. Then I heard testimonies from people who were deeply touched by the sovereign work of God and came to faith in Christ as a result. They were converted without much if any urging from people. It occurred to me that God does the work of salvation but He sometime allows me to be a witness and midwife.

But as I became a preacher, teacher and Christian Helper I saw that the remnants of the Fallen Nature continued to haunt all Believers. This meant that I needed to know how to help myself as well as others apply the most appropriate biblical remedy to their places of fleshly challenge.

In the last post I mentioned how much I learned from Dr. James Kallas whose model included three aspects of fallen nature. Bondage, Rebellion and Guilt. If that is true, then Christ's sacrifice must have been applied to all three of these horrible problems. Before a doctor can apply a remedy for a disease he/she must first diagnose the exact nature of the problem. A muscle strain is not treated like a broken bone even if both cause leg pain.

Bondage is treated differently from Rebellion and both are treated differently from Guilt.

Bondage means we are dead in trespasses and sins. We did not CHOOSE to be sick sinners but we are. Dead men tell no tales and make no big changes in their lives. Only a power greater than the Bondage can bring change.

Rebellion means we CHOOSE to act disobediently. The themes song is, "I'll do it my way". It is ego, self focused and narcissistic.

True Moral Guilt is not a feeling. It is a forensic fact that when we trespass of the law we are guilty whether we "feel" guilty or not.

So, when Christ came to earth and agreed to redeem us from our fallen natures, he had to take care of all three of these issues. If Christ had made us alive in a New Birth but had not taken care of our True Moral Guilt we would still be in trouble with God. Guilt requires Just Punishment and Jesus took care of the Justice we deserved through Justification or Forgiveness.

And, if had Jesus not also taken care of our Rebellion and turned us around from our obsessive path toward destruction, we would be in trouble. We would continue to be pursuing behavior that rebels against God. But Christ also Converted us and turned us around when He also Justified us and gave us new life through the New Birth. All three problems were solved.

Christ's life, death, burial and resurrection offers a New Birth, Justification and Conversion. He covered all three of the main issues remaining from then Fall. Praise His Name!

Now what? Is that all? I used to think so. But I was troubled. Everyone I met had deep problems from a lack of personal Identity. That went along with a lack of understanding their spiritual Inheritance. Most of us are deeply damaged. What is that called? I read, studied and prayed and came to a biblical conclusion. There was a fourth dimension of the Fallen Nature. I discovered that the Bible called it SHAME.

SHAME! What is that? In the Bible Shame is shown to be theologically, spiritually and emotionally different from Guilt. True Moral Guilt has to do with Justice with condemnation or Punishment. Shame has to do with a loss of Identity and Inheritance. The result is deep emotional scars and relational conflicts.

Adam and Eve were born free of sickness, sin and guilt. They also had a secure sense of who they were as their Identity as God's chosen people was made extremely clear. They had a conscious notion of their Inheritance.

But in Genesis 3 we see that sickness, death, rebellion, guilt and shame resulted from their decision to disobey God. The Hebrew word for shame is bwash and it means "to have a loss of face". Now what is the remedy for Shame?

Basic Theology of Salvation and Sanctification

Why is there so much confusion about practical Christianity among Believers? In fact, even many Pastors are confused about how people are saved and how they can be sanctified. I hear it every day and I see it in many Clergy. I must be frank and admit that I was as confused or more confused than most by this question. I grew up among people who loved a good argument about theological issues. Well, we loved a good argument anyway.

It was not until I met a Lutheran Theologian from Thousand Oaks, California that I found a system that allowed me to put a lot of theological loose ends together. The man's name was Dr. James Kallas. He was a theological lecturer on a cruise ship loaded with Christians coasting from port to port from Holland to Germany to Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland and the USSR. In every place Dr. Kallas taught about how its culture, society, legal system and social structure had been influenced by a particular theological stream of thought.

When I heard his system I was immediately struck by how well it described the various people who came to counselors and pastors for help with personal problems. Dr. Kallas' system was broken into three streams or emphases based on how they perceived fallen nature. Some people, and thus nations see "sin" and personal problems as Rebellion that must be stopped by laws and constraints.

Others see problems as proof that they are Guilty and must be punished. Finally, some countries see bad behavior as the result of brokenness or sickness that cannot be altered by punishment or by passing new laws but people who just need to be medicated, taught or healed.

These three basic problems, so said Kallas, could be summarized as Rebellion, Guilt and Bondage. His teachings opened my eyes to the different ways people conceive of their problems. If I, as a Minister/Counselor, perceived their problem differently it goes without saying that my advise would be unwelcome, unheeded and ineffective.

That cruise was designed to be a Study Leave for me. I had signed up to accompany and learn from a famous pastor and writer. I did follow him and listen to his lectures but the real reason God had me on that boat was to meet Dr. Kallas.

Next time? More ways to understand and bring the good news to people and nations.

EMI Anniversary Party

It has been almost thirty years exactly since we officially established Equipping Ministries International as a 501c3 separate from College Hill Presbyterian Church. We had developed the Teleios Center in 1976 and started training people at CHPC in relationships skills. It was not long before some people asked us to teach them how to reproduce our Teleios Ministry so we set up what was to become LIFE Seminars.

All of it came from my Doctoral work and Dissertation at the University of Cincinnati on the topic of the integration of Theology and Psychology and the development of a systematic program to equip the saints in healthy relationship skills.The photo above was taken of Gary Penfield, Dick Towner and me at graduation.

Materials had to be written, invitations sent, fees collected and teachers, organizers and supporters developed. I approached the Trustees of the church to get guidance about copyrights, materials ownership, finances, etc. Tim Johnson reported to me that the Trustees wanted us to set up our own 501c3. We did and it was the beginning of EMI.

In those thirty years EMI has taken the elements of the Teleios Ministry and spread it across the nation and around the world. many para-church groups have sprung up from that effort and EMI has developed ministries in some Seventy nations.

This weekend EMI will celebrate that anniversary and honor many of the founders and early leaders, including me. I left EMI in 1994.

Time With God

I wish I could attend but I am deeply involved in a thirty year reunion party that weekend. "What am I talking about," you ask? One of the famous and fabulous female weekend getaways with God hosted by Judy Haag and her merry band of God Searchers!

Here is the announcement:

What one women says about being at a "A Time of Refreshment" retreat.

There is something very special coming up on Saturday, October 3rd which I think you may want to look into if you have not signed up. I can tell you that when I have participated in
"A Time of Refreshment Retreat" that I have experienced some of the most significant intimacy with our Lord in my life. How can I describe it? Being in God's presence in His beautiful Creation. Slowing down, sitting still and experiencing His love for me personally. Worshipping Him. A day spa for my spirit. None of those phrases can capture it, I suggest you just try it yourself.

There is a time for everything...
But only 10 days left to Register NOW for the
Fall Time of Refreshment Retreat for Women!

You may send us an e-mail to reserve your time and place to be with God at the retreat!

Judy Haag
Spiritual Encouragers of Cincinnati
5091 South Ridge Drive
Cincinnati OH, 45224
513-853-2995
timeofrefreshment@gmail.com

Flush the Viagra!

London’s Daily Telegraph reports on a frightening trend:

With every passing month, another 870,000 people turn 65 and the world’s cohort of pensioners becomes larger still. Thanks to rising life expectancy, their ranks will soon be growing by almost two million a month and, by 2040, their numbers will have doubled to 1.3 billion. . . .

People over 80 are multiplying faster than any other age group, with their ranks are set to grow by 233 per cent.


Man, there is too much Viagra around so these old people are reproducing too fast.

We need more Seasoned Believers to help us.

Sanford's Hole in the Soul

Gov. Mark Sanford said Tuesday that he "crossed lines" with a handful of women other than his mistress--but never had sex with them. The governor said he "never crossed the ultimate line" with anyone but Maria Belen Chapur, the Argentine at the center of a scandal that has derailed his once-promising political career.

"This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story," Sanford said. "A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day."

During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife.

No one in his right mind would say these things. How can his "spiritual adviser" allow him to further ruin his already tragic life? Counselors, Pastors and Coaches take note: When our client has lost his way we must step in and make sure he is protected from himself.

Any grown man who so loses himself to another woman has proven that he is living on the surface of things. He is out of touch with his soul and that leads to a loss of conscious choice about reality.

Mr. Sanford was under the care of a "spiritual adviser' who, by overemphasizing consciousness failed to help him plumb the depths of despair and pain in his soul that only God can heal. James Chapter 1 says

12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

13 When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to

The term here, evil desire, can be translated, "Hole in the soul" and that is exactly what men in midlife must allow God's Spirit to heal if they are to escape the trial and temptations of a "soul mate".

Obedience and strengthening the will are useless unless we allow God's Spirit to bring up all the old pain and hurts and heal them. Face your pain; face your guilt; face your weaknesses and allow God to heal that hole in the soul.

God is our soul mate. Only God can fill that heart shaped vacuum in the soul. To think a woman can fill my soul is raw idolatry.

Choose Life

There is a surprising Bible passage uttered by the Lord God to the Children of Israel. DT 30:19

I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants.

It is surprising because many of us assume that all people will naturally choose life without requiring God to warn them. But, it is not so. It is a truism's that millions of people choose death, curses and evil on a daily basis.

I was trained in public universities by secular humanist professors who were, as a rule, committed to the notion that all people are born good, pure and innocent. So, I naturally began to think that way as well.

The Bible gives us a different picture entirely. It paints us as deceitful broken and prone to selfishness and evil. Who is correct, Carl Rogers or Moses? What have we learned from life and counseling?

For a long time I struggled with the paradox of secular humanistic ideas in a fallen world. Finally, I was informed by my personal experience and biblical study the Moses was right and Carl Rogers was wrong. Over the last forty or so years I have struggled unsuccessfully to be perfect like I was taught and I have worked with thousands of people whose commitment to purity, peace and love was sabotaged by pride, prejudice and power.

The heart is wicked, deceitful and self defeating. That is why we need the daily, moment by moment salvation of Jesus Christ. Moses lays it out this way on the next verse. We can choose life

by loving the LORD your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days, that you may live in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.

Life comes from:

1. Loving God
2. Obeying God's voice on a daily basis.
3. Holding fast to Him because He is our salvation.

Gary Sweeten

From Reality to Real Politics

It is easy to tell when a topic moves from being a focus on reality and becomes almost entirely political. For example, when I did my dissertation on integration of faith and soul care, the term "Evangelical" was clearly meant to describe a type of person who was deeply committed to Christ, the Bible and historic Christianity. Now it means a group of people who are trying to force their narrow views about life on the USA in defiance of the Constitution.

The same is true of "Pro Life". That term meant that a person believed that all human life was precious and created in God's image. Now it is used to mean that the person hates women and science.

Today I will focus on a view that has, until recently, dominated society, counseling and law. Everyone in authority agreed that homosexual behavior was abnormal and should not be encouraged. Additionally, the psychologists taught that it was an aberration that could through therapy, be healed and changed in many instances.

Today, any psychologist or counselor or lay person who says such things will be charged with "homophobia" and accosted as hating gay people. It is well known that a similar charge will not be made against a person who believes that depressives can be healed. I have counseled many depressed and anxious people as well as those who are fearful, angry or addicted but no one has accused me of hating the people I treat.

In those cases I am lauded as compassionate, empathic and concerned because I am responding helpfully to the requests of people who want out of painful situations.

I have also helped married couples stop fighting and adulterers trade adultery for better marital sex. I have shown parents how to stop yelling an start disciplining and they love it.

Because of my success I am asked to write, speak and consult. I am affirmed by many other counselors who want to learn from me. But when I mention that I have helped men and women stop their same sex attractions I am suddenly accosted as a mad man or evil charlatan.

What say you? Do you affirm counselors and peers who state that marriage was always intended for men and women? Can you support the Miss USA candidate who spoke up about her traditional views or do you think she is a homo-phobic that is spouting hate speech?

When A.A. leaders facilitate sobriety and community leaders put a stop to drugs do you see them as heroes or villains? If heroes then you will have to also applaud the courageous men and women at Exodus who have led thousands out of same sex temptations. Healing homosexuality is no more hateful or phobic than defeating depression or divrce.

Gary Sweeten

No Job? You Can Volunteer

The Wall Street Journal has an article today on the importance of laid off workers staying involved by volunteering at non-profits. Sweeten Life Systems is, of course, a 501c3 not for profit organization recognized by the IRS and Ohio Attorney General.

The WSJ's article is by DANA MATTIOLI.

Volunteer jobs are catching on among the growing ranks of laid-off workers, giving them valuable career experience and offering strapped nonprofits access to a bigger talent pool.

Charitable organizations say they are benefiting from a class of skilled volunteers ready to lend their expertise to a cause. And volunteering is giving out-of-work professionals the opportunity to develop skills, as well as network for job contacts in the process. For some people, it may even mean a new career when the economy does turn around.

We have some important things cooking that you might be able to help us with. Write me at gary@sweetenlife.com if interested.

Marriage Enrichment Retreat

Karen and I were with a group of ten couples Crestview Presbyterian Church in Mason-Westchester, Ohio from Friday through Sunday. We had a great time in the Hueston Woods Conference Center Lodge with a Winter Wonderland all around us.

One problem: I couldn't get my Internet to work. However, that was not too bad since I needed a break.

We had a great time. The people were warm, funny, open about their needs and seeking God's help for marriage and family. Pastor Alan Landes and wife Connie along with the Johnsons and Tyrones did a great job of planning.

If your church is not doing much for couples and families, visit Crestview and see what good things they are doing.

Gary Sweeten

www.sweetenlife.com

Russian Ministry

We are very excited to announce that The Lord has opened a way for us to publish Listening for Heaven's Sake in the Russian language. It helps us reach the goal of training Christians how to have a "Lifetime of great relationships". It is safe to say that relationships were severely damaged by the Seventy years of Socialist rule.

Socialists talk a lot about caring for ordinary people but the walk is far different. The USSR reminds me of the Madoff Investment Company that scammed ordinary people out of some 50 Billion Dollars. They even ripped off religious groups and other charities but always talked as though they loved the poor and would do anything for them.

Our books all focus on how ordinary people can live lives more abundant and free and how they can be a blessing to others. These ideas are rare in Post-Communist Russia and this little book can liberate thousands of people.

Take a look at Listening for Heavens Sake on the Russian site similar to www.amazon.com

Pray the the Holy Spirit will use it to be a doorway to healing and growth. Visit the web site of our ministry in Russia. Much of it is in English.

www.liferoute.ru

Gary Sweeten

www.sweetenlife.com

Thanks

We are coming upon another Thanksgiving Day with all the trimmings and I have a great deal to be thankful for. Most of all I am thankful for my Christian roots and the family members who forced me to go to church and introduced Jesus Christ to me. My life is inestimably better today and for eternity because of my salvation.

Second, I am thankful for 47 years of marriage to Karen Judy Mayer Sweeten. We have shared both good and bad together since the day we were married on November 21, 1961. I had been praying for a Christian wife, actually a Baptist wife, for several years and the Lord brought me into contact with Karen again in May of 1961. On May 6 she went with me and a bus load of kids from the Ina School to St. Louis Zoo. I was the bus driver because I could earn another $900.00 annually to add to the $3000.00 I made for teaching and coaching Fifth and Sixth Grades, all subjects. (An almost 1/3 increase in salary for driving the bus! What a deal.)

Six months later Karen and I were married at the First Baptist Church in Pinckneville, Illinois by Rev. Maurice Swinford. All my kids from school attended. We have weathered many storms since then but each of us is thankful for our life together.

I am especially thankful for coming from poverty. because of our background, Karen and I are like St. Paul who noted that he had learned to be content in all kinds of circumstances. We have been close to food stamps and we have been able to live well. The secret to contentment is knowing a loving God and a loving family. Now that the economy has dropped and it may be awhile before it returns to its bullish nature, Karen and I are content with the wonderful lives we enjoy.

I returned from ten days in Russia a few weeks ago and it is good to be back. The comparison between the USA and Russia are many. The primary difference is that the USA has a long tradition of opportunity and innovation. Our Capitalist system allows us to try new things, borrow money and take risks with many rewards. The Socialist traditions of Russia tend to emphasize a top down system of rules and regulations enforced by a government that the people cannot trust.

We in the USA are fortunate. We are blessed. I am thankful.

Watching History Occur in Real Time

I just finished watching President Bush deliver a fifteen minute speech on the banking crisis that was designed to educate us and calm us and move us so we will support the buy out of bad mortgages worth some $700 Billion Dollars. It is amazing to watch history books being written before our eyes.

I received an email from Linda Prince, a long time friend and a strong supporter of McCain-Palin. She is, however, first and foremost a Believer. Here is her message.
TEN ABSOLUTES NO MATTER WHO WINS THE ELECTION:
1. The Bible will still have all the answers. 2. Prayer will still work. 3. The Holy Spirit will still move. 4. God will still inhabit the praises of His people. 5. There will still be God-anointed preaching. 6. There will still be singing of praise to God. 7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people. 8. There will still be room at the Cross. 9. Jesus will still love you. 10. Jesus will still save the lost. ISN'T IT GREAT TO KNOW WHO IS STILL IN CONTROL?

'I lift up my eyes to the hills -- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.' Ps 121:1-2

What's Going On?

Human Resources for Good

Many of you may wonder why I have photos of books on my blog. Here is the reason. Each of them represents an issue that I find important.

The Fourth Great Awakening was written by Robert Fogel who contends that we are now in the midst of a giant spiritual event. Dr. Fogel won the Nobel Prize for his ideas about the economic and political impact of revivals and awakenings yet most of us have never heard of him.

Fogel indicates that the First Great Awakening resulted in the American Revolution; the second in the Emancipation of Slaves and the third in the United States Government's adopting many social safety nets. In the past an awakening was focused on distributing economic and political resources to those previously left out of the main stream. The Fourth s different.

The current situation in Europe and America finds us with many needs but most are not economic or political since we have achieved equal opportunities for all our citizens in those two areas. However, there is one huge arena where resources are not distributed equally. That is in the spiritual or non-material realm.

Fogel says the issues and concerns of this Awakening are the corruption of materialist ideas, the rise of a pro life ethic, interest in values to school curricula, a re-emphasis upon personal morality and values, strengthening family life, etc. All of these we are seeing played out today in our personal, social and political lives. There is a concern about the bureaucratic nature of government systems and the need to return to personal responsibility.

Fogel indicates that the Fourth Great Awakening began with the Sixties Jesus Revolution and will continue as those men and women grow and mature and are mobilized into social and spiritual action. This is one of the reasons I am mobilizing Seasoned Believers to get involved in the issues of today.



Here we are at the intersection of one of the greatest spiritual moments in history. Now what will we do with it? Contact me if you are interested in discussing your role in the Fourth Great Awakening. Maybe you can be a Paul Revere whose primary role was to ride all over the New England area warning the residents that, "The Redcoats are coming!"

Maybe you will preach about spiritual issues or take a role in helping families live bette rlives with God. God has prepared His people for just such a time in history. Let's roll!

Support us at:

Gary Sweeten

Sweeten Life Systems

P.O. Box 498455

Cincinnati, Ohio 45249

gary@sweetenlife.com