I am an extrovert. I am also a person that loves to talk. Additionally, I have a personality that has been described by my best friends and loving family as, "Often wrong but never in doubt."
Taken together this package can cause me trouble. I can be very quick to speak and slow to listen. Umm, that is the opposite of what the Bible commands me to be. If I am wrong and God is right, guess who needs to change.
Ever since I did my doctoral research on the integration of psychology and theology I have carried around a hefty bag of embarrassment because I find it so difficult to change myself and yet I am very interested in changing others.
There are many instances when I am about to preach to somebody about their need to change when it strikes me that I am being judgemental. I am hit with the truth that God wants to change me.
One of the big shocks I had in Graduate School at Southern Illinois University was the insight about why people judge and criticize others. It may not always be the case but usually my judgementalism and criticism reveal areas of my own life that need examination and transformation.
I really hated that session. One of my profs offered that bit of wisdom the my class. I wonder if everyone else was as bummed out about their sins as I was about mine.
I had always thought my criticisms were the result of my superior holiness and wisdom. After all, they proved I knew better than the guy whose faults I was judging. Don't get me wrong, that guy really did have faults. Some of them were pretty awful. However, I learned that it was not my job to change people. God can do it by Himself.
I was thrown into a tizzy. Why would anyone go into the field of Counseling if not to straighten out people? I had thought that it was my job, my profession, my solemn duty to fix those messed up folks and now I learn differently.
Later, much later, I began to see that God had called me to walk along side the people in pain and allow the Holy Spirit that was with me and in me lead them to their own insights and ability to change. Man, that was disappointing! It is hard to be a hero if God gets the glory.
If you want to learn more get Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty from http://www.authorhouse.com/ or http://www.amazon.com/
Write me at gary@Sweetenlife.com or go to http://www.sweetenlife.com/ for more information.
4 comments:
Gary,
Thanks for speaking truth...as hard as it is sometimes to hear. :)
Amy
Hi Gary,
As one who has been mentored by one who was mentored by YOU, I must say that the "Savior Complex" never came across in ANY of the teaching (whether taught or caught)I've had. However, I think it's somewhat of an occupational hazard when one is in the "business" of helping others. The Bible said something about walking the plank...or getting the plank out before judging another's speck. (Not the doctor, the flaw in one's character)
Anyway, I am grateful there are folks like you, who believe in the power of God and the transforming power of the WORD of God to make change...in ourselves and others.
Your most memorable sermon boils down to this: "It's all about grace, folks."
Amen and amen.
Blessings,
Paula Clare
Amy,
Thr same truth that sets us free may make us miserable first but it will pass. I am not nearly as reactive to others as I was back in grad school. But, I am not yet in Heaven either.
Paula, it was grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears relieved.
Thank you Jesus for grace.
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