Saturday, November 08, 2008

I Calls Them The Way I Sees Them


Six Men From Hindustan saw the same elephant but experienced it very differently.

This is an old saw that I heard growing up. However, the power and truth of its sentiment did not sink in until I began to study interpersonal communication and how differences in "The ways we sees them" cause so much conflict.



For example, the inability to resolve differences in a marriage is the greatest cause of divorce, abuse and dissatisfaction. We often hear that the number one cause of divorce is money, sex, in laws and religion. During this season we might also add politics. But, those are simply some of the issues over which we fail to find a peaceful way to deal with differences.



I am not careful with money and my wife is very careful. That can be a good thing if we understand how to balance each other out. However, it can be bad, very bad with those who attack each other over how money is spent. She says I am reckless and irresponsible and I accuse her of being a tightwad just like my mother. Those attacks are what causes the trouble, not the spending habits.



I could say to my wife, "Karen, I really appreciate your ability to save money. You help me a lot." This avoids Attacks and inserts Attending instead. Attending to one another builds up the Emotional Bank Account that we can draw from at other times when we are feeling scratchy.



Why Attack The Ones We Love?



II COR 4:4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.



The enemy of our souls goes all out to get us to misunderstand and misperceive what others are saying and meaning. Even when we try to be accurate, loving and gracious we are misunderstood. This leads us to feel hurt, shamed and disrespected.



But, I am a believer? How can this happen? Read II COR a little farther down the way. 7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.



"Be patient; God is not finished with me yet!"



I am filled with the Holy Spirit but the vessel that carries that Holiness around is fallen and dirty. (The image is actually that of a latrine or chamber pot. My clay pot is really a very lowly thing.) Why? To show the greatness and holiness of God's Spirit.



Gary Sweeten
http://www.sweetenlife.com/

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