Marriage is Changing in America

Over the past few decades we have seen a dramatic rise in inter racial and inter ethnic marriages. The Wall Street Journal reports on a new research study by the Pew Foundation that Black/White and Hispanic/White marriages are increasing almost every year. .

In my view, this bodes well for our nation and our world. When people from various backgrounds meet, fall in love and marry it implies that there are fewer conflicts between and among racial groups. However, when the biggest reason for divorce is an inability to deal well with differences and racial, ethnic, social and cultural differences can be difficult to manage. As a Family Therapist it appears that we need to bone up on how to assist people get along even though they are from different backgrounds.

This will also put new pressure on churches and their leaders since this is where much of the people with conflicts and differences emerge. Pastors and Lay Leaders provide much of the child care and marriage care in America so getting them better trained will be key to their success.

Spiritual Growth and Missions

Dr. Richard Kidd just returned from a short term mission trip in New York City with 26 students from Regent University. The post can be found on my new blog Spiritual Healing and Growth.

Mentors, Coaches, Counselors and Disciple Makers

Authors Steve Griebling and Gary Sweeten

What is the difference among all these titles? According to the "Myth of the Expert" there is a lot of difference. However, according to research on influence and change over the past fifty years there is little difference.

On the side is a book Steve Griebling and I authored several years ago. I like most of the title but not all of it. I chose the title so I can't blame anyone else. I placed too much focus on that famous character in history Humpty Dumpty, who desperately and unsuccessfully needed healing.

The title works in some ways because Steve and I wanted Helpers, friends and therapists Peer and Professional that not even Humpty was hopeless. We also wanted to let compassionate, merciful people know that it is not necessary to be an expert to be helpful to people who need spiritual and emotional healing, growth and discovery.

The contents of our book focuses primarily on the relational aspects of facilitating positive changes. We do that because both Steve and I have been deeply involved as change agents. Both of us are Clinical Counselors with decades of experience as therapists in hospital and out patient settings. We worked with people with severed addictions, clinical depression, anxiety attacks, Bi-Polar issues as well as psychosis and other categories of diagnosis.

We both have also worked in church settings to recruit, train, organize and release Peer Helpers. These lay men and women served in diverse settings such as Pastoral Care, home visitations, support and recovery groups, Deacons and psycho-education prevention like premarital preparation. We also trained Bible teachers, evangelism visitors, managers, small group leaders and chaplains.

In all these settings we scoured research studies to see what was the most effective way to train Peers and Professionals to be the most effective Helpers. The answer is in our book. I will preview the answers in future posts.

How Can Christians Reach Our Neighbors?

For years we have heard about a lot of fancy and complicated ways to win people to Christ. The Four Spiritual Laws are famous as is the phrase used by Dr. James Kennedy to share with Seniors in his Florida community. "If you died tonight what would you say to God to get into heaven?"

The following story is a very interesting approach to witnessing. And, the real work is done from home. PRAYER! Prayer? Yep, prayer.

How is that done? Read this article.

TYPICALLY GOD: Prayer creates openness for gospel

The pastor of a Christian church in Phoenix, Arizona, asked the members of
his church to randomly choose 80 people from the telephone book. He then
asked them to pray for each of the 80 names every day for 90 days. At the
same time, he asked them to choose another 80 names from the telephone book
who were simply laid aside, and nobody prayed for the people. After 90 days, church members called all 160 people and asked them whether they would allow Christians to visit them to pray for them.

"The amazing result," says Alvin Vander Griend, was this: only one person on the list of people who did not receive prayer was prepared to allow Christians to visit, whereas 69 of the 80 people for whom the church members prayed were open to allow Christians to visit. 45 even invited them into their house, offered coffee and named special prayer requests. Prayer was clearly the decisive factor causing these people to open their houses for personal prayer," he says.

Source: Mission America, www.lighthousemovement.com

Why not try it? God might show up.

New Grant Coming for Marriage Mentoring

Sweeten Life systems and Hope for Cincinnati will co-sponsor another all day seminar on August 20. Tune in for more information as it develops.

Nathaniel Lett of Beech Acres asked us to consider another training session like the one we did two years ago and we said, "YES SIR!"

If you or one of your friends wants to learn how to Mentor Marriages and help them get healthier, contact me.

gary@sweetenlife.com

Those Controversial Gifts of God

I am of the conviction that those who fail to exercise their God given spiritual gifts will get spiritually, emotionally and physically sick. Not as a punishment from God but as result of failing to fully utilize the spiritual energy that resides within them.

It is a mystery to me why so few ministers, ministries and churches teach about or encourage their people to discover and use the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

It is clear that the Bible teaches that every Christian has the Holy Spirit within them and that every Christian has spiritual gifts, yet George Barna, who is a top researcher on all things religious, has a report out on the confusion of Christians about the gifts. Here are a few of his conclusions.

Awareness of spiritual gifts was most common among self-described Christians who live in the South (75%) and West (71%), and least common among those living in the Midwest (63%) and Northeast (58%).

Such awareness also varied within the various segments of the self-described Christian population. For instance, 99% of evangelicals have heard of spiritual gifts, far more than the 74% among non-evangelical born again Christians and 58% among notional Christians. Similarly, there was a large gap between Protestants (75%) and Catholics (54%) in awareness.

Even within the Protestant community there was a noteworthy gap between those who attend a mainline church (68% awareness) and those who attend a Protestant congregation not associated with a mainline denomination (78%).

What do you think about the gifts? Do you believe in the gifts as outlined in I CO 12? Hit the comment button and let it fly.

Gary Sweeten

Christian Counselors Trained in Australia

I just received a note from an old friend in Australia. Bruce and Nellie Litchfield run a Family Counselling Graduate School for Youth With A Mission in Canberra.

Bruce and Nellie attended our training many years ago at YWAM's University of the Nations in Hawaii. Thankfully, they took what they learned, integrated it with YWAM teaching and developed transferable models that have been implemented all over the world.

Take a look at their newest announcement: VOCATIONAL GRADUATE CERTIFICATE IN COUNSELLING AND FAMILY THERAPY

You will be very interested to know that we (AIFC) have completed the final application for a Vocational Graduate Certificate in Counselling and Family Therapy (Christian) involving a third year training.

It is very gratifying to see our ideas being spread throughout the world by great Christian organizations. YWAM is a very large missionary organization that has training centers in nearly 200 places. They train Believers in all manner of ways so they can take the good news of Jesus Christ to individuals, families, businesses and educational institutions.

I have been blessed to teach at the YWAM University on several occasions and to see them up close and personal. One of the most remarkable and creative of ideas was setting up schools to train young men and women how to be beautiful. Another school taught Polynesians how to use their indigenenous dances to proclaim the gospel.

If you are interested in what Bruce and Nellie are doing you can write them at

blitchfield@bigpond.com Mention that you read about the school on my blog.

Gary Sweeten

http://www.sweetenlife.com/

Small Groups that are Missional

Although many people are using the term missional almost as often as they say, "LIKE" or "You Know" I don't find many who understand the term at all. It has become a buzz word and used to replace Post Modern.

Here is what a church can do to become missional. Remember the basics of the good news and preach Christ resurrected from the grave. Also remember that almost everyone who comes to Christ does so through a family member of friend. Few come in big meetings or evangelistic events.

Campus groups have been remarkably successful in sharing the gospel among high school and college students. I cannot count the number of adults who Committed their lives to Christ through a fellow student from IV, Campus Crusade, Navigators, Young Life, etc.

One reason is that the groups are focused on reaching out to friends. That is a very successful strategy. Intentional outreach is much more successful than accidental outreach.

Every group needs to have an outreach. Later I will lay out the ways to design groups for maximum impact.

Gary Sweeten

www.sweetenlife.com

Lowering Costs of Doing Ministry

Embrace the World
Because the economy has been powering along like a Bull for the last eight years, Christian ministries have been growing like weeds and spending a lot of money to achieve their goals. Now, the Bear Market has changed all that. There is a great article about this issue in the Out of Ur Blog of Christianity Today.



No one knows how long this recession will last or how far the economy will slip, but this may serve as a wakeup call to an American church that has built its missional strategy on the assumption of affluence. If the downturn is protracted, it may cause churches to reevaluate their philosophy of ministry. If those delayed plans to build a larger facility or hire new staff members cannot be taken off the self in two, three, or five years because of the economy, will we be forced to think more creatively about advancing God's mission?
Neil Cole, in an interview in the latest issue of Leadership, said his research concluded that, using traditional church planting methods—hiring staff and building facilities—it would cost $80 billion to reach the city of Atlanta with the gospel. Even in a robust economy, that number is prohibitively large. Perhaps it's time for American church leaders to begin learning from pastors in the developing world who have few resources but where the gospel is spreading nonetheless.

Tom Sine, author of The New Conspirators, has also spoken about the danger of predicating our ministry model on the automobile. Megachurches in particular have flourished by drawing attenders from a wide geographic area. But if average fuel prices rise high enough, we may see driving habits shift as people become more reluctant to commute multiple times a week to a church facility. Economic realities may accelerate the already perceptible trend toward decentralized ministry.
Faith should protect us from the fear seizing many in these uncertain times, but faith should also lead us to greater creativity and an ever increasing trust in God to continue his mission even as resources disappear.


What do you think about this? Are these guys right or can we and should we continue spending so much to achieve so little?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sweeten Life has always operated with very low overhead. We get a lot accomplished with a small investment. We do it because we multiply the resources through discipleship and equipping leaders. We have very few large group meetings but rather follow the example and teaching of Jesus.

We can certainly use your financial support this year.

Sweeten Life Systems

P.O. Box 498455

Cincinnati, Ohio 45249

Gary's Cell: 513-300-5065

The Greatest is Love

The Wall Street Journal, my favorite paper, has another great article in its online version. The article focuses on happiness and economic well being. They ask the question: "Does riches make us happier?" They say, in part<

It doesn't have a place in accounting students' spreadsheets or future venture capitalists' portfolios. But at business schools on both sides of the Atlantic, professors are increasingly studying and teaching about an intangible they say is nonetheless a key part of the modern bottom line -- happiness.

Economists, psychologists, sociologists and others trying to untangle the relationship between wealth and emotional well-being have found a home in business schools in the U.S. and Britain. They say the schools, more interdisciplinary and open-minded than many other parts of academe, are the perfect place to examine that connection.

Read the rest of the Journal to get to the meat of the question. But first, what do you think?

Gary Sweeten

http://www.sweetenlife.com/

Denmark Hello

I met today with four long time friends from Scandinavia. We all came together in Copenhagen to discuss the possibility of having a gathering next spring. Peder Poulsen, Jens-Petter Jorgensen, Regina Joergensen (Gina) and Kristin Callesen to hear from each other what has been happening in our lives since we last met during one fo the varius Teleios events in Scandinavia. All but Jens-Petter are Danes. He is Norwegian.

I met Jens-Petter in Kenya, Africa in October 1983 so it is the 25th anniversary of our first connection. At that time he invited me to come to Norway to speak. Over time we developed a close personal and ministerial relationship. Teleios Norway came out of that fruitful interaction and hundreds of people experienced the love, truth and power of Jesus Christ as a result.

All of them are now Seasoned Believers, who have followed Christ for decades. Attending the Teleios courses and investing in the dept of the Teleios philosophy of Great Relationahips with God and others, each of us has grown in spirit, soul and ministry.

I will write more on those changes later.

Gary Sweeten
Copenhagen, Denmark

Give and It Shall Be Given Unto You

Recent research sponsored by the AARP on the value and commonality of volunteer service among Seasoned Citizens, especially Boomers, indicates some interesting results.

The research found that:
1. Fifty-five percent of Americans in the 44 to 79 age group believe they will leave the world in worse condition than they inherited it, while only 20 percent believe they are leaving the world in better condition. Those most actively engaged in volunteering feel less pessimistic.

2. Fifty-two percent of older Americans said their desire to “help people in need” was a very important motivational factor in their volunteering. Forty-eight percent said the desire to “stay healthy and active” was a primary motivator.

3. The rate of volunteering is highest among those who attend religious services regularly (86 percent); college graduates (85 percent); professionals (84 percent); those with annual incomes over $75,000 (83 percent); and evangelical Christians (80 percent).

4. Eighty-three percent of Republicans said they volunteered for an organization in the last year, while only 67 percent of Democrats said the same. Sixty-nine of those who identified as independents said they volunteered in the past year.

5. Baby Boomers, those born from 1946 to 1964, were most likely to increase their volunteer hours, according to the survey.

Those who volunteer live longer, stronger and more joyful lives!

Seasoned Believers Must Act Now

In the book, The Boomer Century 1946-2046: How America's Most Influential Generation Changed Everything by Richard Croker there is an article by Dr Thom Rainer, a hugely regarded researcher on Christianity. Rainer says:

“Most cutting-edge ministries in the church for the past 40 years have been aimed at reaching the younger generations. And if something does not change in our churches, this age wave will pass by with millions never connecting with the church, and with millions never responding to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

“Most leaders admit that they have not even thought about the issue, much less strategically planned to reach this older generation.”" As a result of the negligence of Christian leaders, "About two-thirds of the 76 million boomers are unchurched, which means they attend church no more than twice a year."

These builders and boomers have the largest accumulated wealth of any group in America’s history. But their wealth is not restricted to money and materials. They also have an enormous reservoir of experience in education, science, industry, business and practical Christianity.

This age wave includes tens of millions of men and women who want to make a difference in their older years. They have pursued many paths to happiness, and the unchurched boomers tell us that none have proved satisfactory. These new "senior" adults do not perceive themselves to be older adults, and any organization that communicates to them that they are old will quickly lose their allegiance.

In Greater Cincinnati we have almost 800,000 thousand men and women over age 45. If 2/3 are unchurched, and I think they may be, it is a huge untapped group of almost 600,000 people who are just waiting for some church of para-church organization to care for them.

Why Do Pastors Refuse to Equip Members?

I have been a Christian for sixty years. I grew up in a very conservative church that preached and taught the Bible. We said we "Believed the Bible word for word from Genesis to maps". But, we did not really follow what it said on some very important matters.

One of the last things that our Lord said is recorded in Matthew 28:16ff. Just before Jesus rose from the earth and ascended into the heavens He gave a direct order to the small group of men who had been with Him Let me paraphrase it to get your attention.

"Remember that I told you earlier that I was going to go away and send you the Holy Spirit to be your encourager and counselor. It is best that I go to the Father because then you will be able to do far more than I could do if I stayed.

"Now here are my marching orders and I have the authority to do it. Go out from here and make students and practitioners of every nationality and ethnic group in the whole world. Baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach them and train them to do everything I did and that you will do. In other words, reproduce yourselves among the Jews and Gentiles of every tongue, race and ethnicity until my followers fill the earth with Believers."

This is the most basic call of Jesus to His followers and it worked fine in the early days. Every follower of Jesus was trained how to minister in power, truth and love. They met in homes and under trees and their lives were changed along with the Roman Empire.

But, after some 300 years, things changed and a few elitist leaders took over the organization and did all the work of the ministry. This was and is a direct violation of Jesus' Great Commission. If a church even equips ten to twenty percent of its members a community will be transformed. But few really equips any members.

It is time for a change. We are ready for a New Reformation. God is on the move. Get ready. Our book, Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty will inspire you and educate you on how to start.

Sweeten Life Systems

P.O. Box 498455

Cincinnati, Ohiop 45249

Can Ministries Learn from Starbucks?

Many churches are losing customers. Go to the Pew Research noted in an earlier post and see. But, what can ministry leaders do? Well, maybe we can learn from Starbucks.

SEATTLE - Starbucks is shutting its doors for three hours Tuesday night, the latest drastic step in a company wide bid to improve its sagging fortunes.
The shutdown is one of several big moves spearheaded by Chairman and Chief Executive Howard Schultz, who recently took back the reins of the company amid concerns that it was losing its edge and facing increased competition from the likes of McDonald's and Dunkin' Donuts.
Schultz has said the shutdown, which begins at 5:30 p.m. local time, is a way to energize its 135,000 employees and provide some barista re-education in the "art of espresso" at its 7,100 U.S. locations.

Many churches are "losing their edge" to new churches. What can they do?

1. Attack the successful churches. Preach against the growing churches and tell your people they are from the devil. This is happening with great regularly to Joel Osteen, Rick Warren and Bill Hybels.

2. Beat your members that are loyal. Those who have left are gone so you can't beat them so whip the people who have endured. "When you are riding a dead horse, get a bigger whip."

3. Fire the Pastor. Maybe if the dead hose has a better jockey he will run faster.

4. Play hip hop on Sunday morning. We all know that "Contemporary Music" will heal all wounds.

5. What do you propose?

Welcoming Places

I go to Panera Bread quite often. It is usually alive with customers, many with lap top computers open and others reading or deep in a discussion. The Panera close to a school has a good deal of business from the students and

Mothers come with infants in tow as well as business people dressed in Black and Navy Stripes. I often see men discussing the Bible or a Christian book and women seem to love gathering there to pray and chat.

Why? Why does Panera attract so many customers from different age groups, vaocational areas and lifestyle preferences? How is it that this particular dinning place is open for business from 6:00 AM til 9:00 PM?

What do they know that so many other resteraunts evidently miss? I am amazed they have so much business when others have so little.

Churches are similar. Few draw people to their meeting places during the week. Why not? What do they have that churches need? How do they draw so many people of all ages and we struggle?

Write me with your insights and ideas and I will post them on this blog.

Check SeasonedBelievers Blog

I have posted several times on the Seasoned Believers Blog about politics, finances and current events and I think most of you will find them interesting.

http://seasonedbelievers.blog.spot/

Gary Sweeten

gsweeten@cinci.rr.com

My Face Book registration has disappeared and now they are insisting that I start over. What a bummer. I am considering how I can do my own private Social Network. Any suggestions?

Starbucks Evangelism

I have been talking and interacting on the Internet with an old friend the last couple of weeks. Steve Sjogren, founding Pastor with wife Janie of the Cincinnati Vineyard Community Church and the Father of Servant Evangelism. Steve, Janie and son Jack are down in Tampa, FL now planting another church called, Coastland Tampa.

I suggest you look in on Steve's doings at http://www.stevesjogren.com/ Steve is often controversial, usually misunderstood and never dull. Boring he ain't!

Steve came up with some truly new creative ideas about outreach evangelism. He is one of the truly original Christian thinkers of the 20Th Century. Steve is not written about as much as some others because he is not political as the people who are popular in the Evangelical and national media.

When TIME did its most influential Evangelicals he was nowhere to be seen. The folks from the national media are obsessed with politics.

Steve went back to the beginning and recaptured some important biblical principles for evangelism. These principles place his approach in a unique position among Evangelicals.

First, Steve focused on the fruit of the Spirit. He did not use emotional or rational arguments to get the attention of "Pre-Believers". Despite the fact that Jesus and Paul both emphasized love and kindness as the key to winning hearts and minds conservative Christians preferred to focus on fear and legalism.

Second, Steve emphasized action over talk. In fact, most of the time he told his people not to talk very much during outreach activities. To Fundamentalists Servant Evangelism looked an awful lot like the "Social Gospel" but to Steve it was being servants of Jesus and then servants of people.

Third, Steve refused to use serving people as "fish bait" to hook unbelievers into the Vineyard. He was clear that it was to be "Love with no strings attached." When was the last time a preacher did something for you without having a string attached? He did not care if those being served ever came to his church.

Fourth, he had fun in all things. Serving was fun and often off the wall in the things he did to serve people. (Here is a secret. I was with him in England and met a group of homeless folks who longed for a smoke. Steve and his team bought cigarettes for them.)

If you want your preachers nice and neat with pear shaped tones and traditional approaches, do not go to http://www.stevesjogren.com/ but if you like Jesus presented as grace and truth with a lot of seasoning thrown in, try it.

Ministry Launch

Above are Alice Petersen and Tricia Herman, on the left is Karen Sweeten and above right are Bob and Carlene Robinson.

We recently had a couple of Launches to kick off the announcement of the New Ministry and name. Part of the festivities included a Red's Game celebration in the Sky Box of Mike Ellison's Company.

It was a grand time for people who have been working hard to let the world know what God is doing and people know how to support us financially and spiritually.

New Name and Ministry

In the last post I wrote about my early days at College Hill Pres. They were exciting and perhaps the best learning experiences of my life. My background was Elementary and Secondary Education, Higher Education and Counselor Education. I had no formal training in Christian Education or seminary. However, my background as a teacher, coach and counselor was great preparation for Christian ministry.

It was at College Hill that I began to leave my childish thinking behind. It was there that the full import of my own ignorance came crashing through. The staff and elders were wise and well educated and I was privileged to learn from them. Although I had already gotten several college degrees, my training in practical ministry began to sink in as I met with men and women who worked at P&G, GE, leading law firms and so forth.

I also learned a lot from people who had served the Lord faithfully behind the scenes as Sunday School Teachers, Nursery Workers, Deacons and Secretaries. I saw that all churches and life operate best when good people give their creativity and sweat to care for others without fan fare or outward rewards.

The scripture below tells about developmental changes that occur as a result of living in a world that knocks the hard, sharp edges off of us. When God gets hold of us He changes us. And it is usually through learning about what it means to be powerless without becoming hopeless.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I gave up childish ways.

now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:11-13

Over the past few years it has become obvious that the Lord is bringing about enormous changes in the social order. Knowledge from the past is insufficient to take us into the next era. But, we desperately need the creativity of men and women who have become wise in the ways of the Holy Spirit. We need people who know how to hear God for today and tomorrow based on hearing Him over the past twenty, thirty or forty years.

I am focusing on Unleashing Seasoned Believers to Love and Enjoy the Lord; who are living as adults in a psychologically, morally and spiritually stunted world. People must be fully engaged in giving and creating if they are to stay healthy and alive. Seasoned Believers need to be involved in offering their wisdom and creativity and society needs what we have to offer.

Give and it shall be given unto you... Jesus



We are changing our ministry name. The old name, Life Way Ministries, Incorporated, was a good name but it was a confusing name. In almost every airport I ever entered with a shirt with Life Way on it I was mistaken for a member of the Southern Baptist Sunday School Board whose publishing arm and bookstores are called, Lifeway.

In Cincinnati my non-profit, 501 c3 group (Life Way Ministries, Inc) is often confused withe Life Way Counseling Centers, an S Corporation. The two are completely separate organizations and have always been separate even though I am the founder of both.

During the previous year our name has caused even more confusion in the mind's of many people. An organization called Lifeway for Youth has been placing children in foster homes in several states. It is a needed and important function of a great nation. However, one of their children was placed with people unworthy to oversee their own children let alone kids under the care of the state. That child, Marcus Feisel, died in that house and the name Lifeway was splashed all over the news for months causing enormous confusion for everyone else with a similar moniker. As is often the case, the news media brought confusion and darkness rather than light into the situation.

Our new name is Sweeten Life Systems. It is the same old organization with a new name. We have the exact same Federal Tax ID Number just a new name and address.

I have been associated with numerous groups and ministries since 1967 when Karen and I moved to Cincinnati. I have written several books, monographs and magazine articles with various groups. The only thing that is the same is my name so we decided to call it Sweeten. It will hopefully clear up the confusion.

The Life Systems part comes from our emphasis on Systems that are alive in Christ. Human systems; family systems; church systems; work systems; all these are our focus.

Please pass the word around so the confusion will end. Life Way Counseling Centers will go on with that name and it is completely, totally and absolutely a separate organization from Sweeten Life Systems.