Small Group Book

Review of “Why Didn’t You Warn Me?”
By Pat Sikora for Standard Publishing
Sub title: how to deal with challenging group members
The book is available in most bookstores and Amazon.com
www.whydidntyouwarnme.com

In the interest of full disclosure I will admit to having had Pat in several of my training sessions when we had an Equipping Center in San Mateo, CA. She was an alert and lively learner who eagerly soaked up everything I taught about Christian growth and healing. Pat has taken her insights to a deeper level of practice.

When I was consulting with the Cell group Movement in Singapore, church leaders were fond of saying, “Small Groups are Powerful!" They tried to convince me that small groups were effective places to evangelize unbelievers, disciple believers and heal broken believers. I was alreay a convert to that point of view.

Pat Sikora in her new book “Why Didn’t You Warn Me?” by Standard Publishing also believes and states those things nicely but she adds another part to the mantra: "Small groups are powerfully good or powerfully bad”. Pat wisely trains her readers how to minister to the “good, the bad and the ugly” in groups.

Many churches start groups with great excitement but must close them prematurely because they do not deal well with those “Challenging Group Members” who are bound to show up. One or two unchallenged member can destroy the group, turning group dynamics is turned on its head. Instead of growth, healing and evangelistic outreach the group chokes on its members’ dysfunctions.

As you read Pat’s neat little book, you will find that she humorously describes many of the “Characters” who are attracted to our groups and lays out the various ways a lay leader can successfully deal with them in truth and love. Pat is caring but she is also realistic about how much a group leader can do. She shows unusual candor and courage by lovingly addressing chronic problems without stooping to co-dependency.

Pat wisely includes specific hints, proven over the centuries to be growth producing, that leaders can use to calm and motivate members. She shows how one’s voice and non-verbals can cover a multitude of sins and problems. If you work with Sunday school classes, committees, task forces or Bible studies, get her book and enjoy its useful insights. (www.whydidntyouwarnme.com for more information)