Relationships are Important

a few posts ago I wrote about a research article done by the Southern Baptists on why so many pastors were fired in 2005. The reports from each local region or Association showed that over 1300 ministers had been dismissed during that calender year.

Just think, over 1300 ministers with wives, children and houses, debts and colleagues were kicked out of their professions. And, you can be assured that only a fraction had any kind of financial resources to fall back on after losing their salary, health insurance, housing, emotional and spiritual support, etc.

And, just think for a moment about the devastation caused to the 1300 congregations, many of whom or most of whom cared for and respected the pastor. Their faith is often shattered and they are dazed and confused. As many as 50% of a congregation leave a church after a minister is fired. The witness of the church is damaged and the unchurched are often repelled even further by the conflict, gossip and distrust.

And, what were the primary causes listed for these crises? Relational difficulties! In fact, they were the same top issues that have appeared on the list for the past 10 years. Despite that fact, there are almost no efforts to train ministers and lay leaders how to relate healthily. Why not? you ask. We know what skills are essential to building healthy caring and problem solving so why do we fail to train leaders in those skills?

Maybe because we follow the wrong type of leader in the church. In Acts 14 Barnabas and Paul were in Lystra when they encountered a lame man and he was healed by the Lord Jesus. The people were, of course, amazed and called the Apostles by the names of two Greek gods. Barnabas was Zeus and Paul as Hermes. What was the significance of that?

Zeus was the ruler of the gods. He is the god of Sky, Lightning and Thunder. He is the son of Saturn and brother of Neptune, Pluto and Juno, who is also his wife. His attribute is the lightning bolt and his symbol the eagle, who is also his messenger. He was also considered the Patron god of Rome, and his temple was the official place of state business and sacrifices. He was also known to the ancient Greeks as Epiphanes.

HERMES was called the Messenger of the gods. He's also the god of Merchants and Commerce, Athletics and Travel, Public Speaking, Shepherds and Thieves. Despite wheeling and dealing he manages to leave his customers satisfied due to his incredibly cunning sales talk.

The modern church has always idealized Paul or Hermes the salesman instead of Barnabas the god of leadership. We Protestants have almost always chosen "leaders" who can "Talk the walk" but not necessarily people who could "Walk the talk."

Thus, when we have a problem in a church we usually bring in some new Hermes to sell us a new idea or inspire us to go on with God. However, if we admired Zeus or Barnabas, the man who discipled Saul into Paul and who led the first ministry to the Gentiles and the first missionary journey, Barnabas. We would get a strong leader who would insist upon actions not just words. (NATO: No Action; Talk Only)

The single most important skill and art for building relationships is not Talking but Listening. A listening ear, inspire; heals; comforts; offers faith, hope and love. Listen for Heaven's Sake.