A Lifetime of great relationships

Continuing the series on developing a great relationship with yourself and others, including God, I will conclude the acrostic APART that defines why we make ourselves anxious and depressed.

Adversity is everywhere and impacts everyone. Still, I feel some sort of uniqueness when Adversity comes my way. Many of you know I like to play golf. When I turned 57 my wonderful and loving wife Karen Judy gave me a gift that is still giving to me; a set of golf lessons at a local practice range.

I have always been competitive so when I began my lessons I continued trying very hard to be good at hitting that little ball; immediately. But, I found several things about golf.

1) Adversity occurs frequently in every golfer's games.
2) The harder I tried to play and hit the ball well, the worse I played.
3) The more negatively I talk to my myself after hitting a ball the worse I perform after that.
4) Conclusion: I need to learn how to be good to myself and release all my negative self talk from my mind if I want to play well.

Golf is a metaphor for life. Adversity often and the harder I try to be perfect the worse I feel and do. This brings us to the last part of the acrostic: T for Total Thinking that keeps us on a roller coaster ride of emotional ups and downs and fragile interpersonal relationships.

This seems to be the main cause of so much despair and anxiety among relatively well off people. When I entered the counseling field I learned all the important terms. One that we kept hidden from the paying public was "The Worried Well" which is the term for folks are doing nicely but are worried about it.

The numbers of "The Worried Well" who are suffering greatly with anxiety is growing rapidly. This comes from a media and educational structure that over emphasizes helplessness and hopelessness. I am saddened by the way TV personnel, teachers and even members of the helping professions typically promote the notion that other people can make us feel badly about ourselves. No wonder we are Well but Worried.

We control our feelings by the ways we choose to think about life. The nasty people we meet and the nasty golf swings do not cause my bad feelings; I cause them by the ways I choose to think about them.

But I can do something good to help myself. I can renew my mind with the truth.