Dealing With Depression

A couple of posts ago I wrote about the increase of depression among Americans. Why would that happen when we live so much better now than before. In fact, we live better than at any time in history.

Perhaps Ed Friedman had the answer in his latest book, A Failure of Nerve. (See the last post.) Parents, teacher, bosses and leaders have lost their way. According to Martin Seligman, one the the world's most famous psychologists, the biggest problem lies in trying to protect kids and adults from all and any discomfort. instead of seeing discomfort as a sort of inoculation against a collapse if and when really bad things happen, we too often see a minor discomfort as a dagger in the soul.

A couple of examples will help. I recently listened as my barber explained how a mother hovered over her 10 year old son as he was getting a haircut. She said soothingly with honey in her voice and said things like, "Is it OK? Is she hurting you?" If this kid does not grow up with a giant sized emotional hangover it will be a minor miracle. Anxiety and overprotecting kill, maim and produce weak kids.

I saw Chris Rock on TV tonight and he told story after story about how he suffered pain and suffering as Black kid and the only Black boy in his school after being bussed in from an all Black area. But here is the kicker. He said it was the very best thing that ever happened to him. "Thank you for kicking my___! Thank you for White hatred! You made me a success!"

Showing too much anxious concern and protection for others keeps them in long term prisons of dependency. One of the reasons we have chronic poverty is because far too much anxiety is shown about having poor people among us. Chronic anxiety and chronic enabling of poor thinking and poor ideas reap more poverty. President Johnson's Great Society has developed millions of people stuck in despair and stinking thinking.

Our litigious society has produced millions of people who have an entitlement mentality. A minister friend told me about an event they hosted recently that drew people from around the region. One woman attacked him by saying, "You people at this church don't care for the elderly. You don't even have a railing for us. I should sue you for that."

He then pointed the railing out to her and she took that route. However, her attitude stank. We have come to expect perfection and sue anyone who fails to provide it for us. And, the courts support this nonsense and reward it.

Count it all joy when you encounter all kinds of troubles and adversities. The testing of your faith develops endurance. Let endurance have its full and complete effect. If you do that, you will also be complete and mature. James 1:2-4

Small doses of Adversity are necessary to teach kids large lessons in overcoming the next Adversity. In fact, even large doses can cause us to grow into completion. But depression will come upon us when we expect perfection and get reality.