Soul Mates

The Associated Press brings us the latest on the saga of Gov. Mark Sanford

Sanford said Tuesday that he "crossed lines" with a handful of women other than his mistress--but never had sex with them. The governor said he "never crossed the ultimate line" with anyone but Maria Belen Chapur, the Argentine at the center of a scandal that has derailed his once-promising political career.

"This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story," Sanford said. "A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day."

During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife.

This comment alone is enough to convince me that Gov Sanford is completely out of touch with his broken soul. Read my article at www.sweetenlife.com and see how many times people at middle age try to live above sin and go berserk when a certain kind of woman appears and "steals their heart away". Sanford said he had "crossed the line" many times before but he obviously did not get the help he needed then. Why?

Gov. Sanford and his wife Jenny hosted a series of Bible studies and Mentoring sessions led by Cubby Culbertson. Why did they not get the help they needed? The program is a hard hitting approach to honor, fidelity, responsibility and duty as leaders and husbands. The legalistic approach was big on accountability and small on facing our inner struggles honestly. This is the result of a legalistic approach to Christian growth.

Romans 5:20 The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, 21 so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.


The legal approach to dealing with sin causes the trespassing to increase.

The Crisis in Christian Leadership

I wrote a paper some years ago about the issues of leading men and women jumping headlong into sinful emotional relationships and ruining the lives of many. I rewrote and posted it on my web page at sweetenlife.com

Once on the web page hit Pastoral Services. For the last several years I have been the 911 number on the speed dial of many ministries, churches and leaders. The worst part? The calls come after the person has destroyed himself and his "Soul Mate". The reputation is gone as is the wife, kids, friends, staff, position and ministry. Just look at the pitiful state of Governor Sanford.

I could have helped Governor Sanford when he and friends saw the signs and symptoms of an imminent collapse. Healing is possible and crises preventable. But strong men do not ask for directions or assistance.

If you are interested in the warning signs of a mental, emotional, sexual collapse, take a look at it and weep for those caught in the snares of the devil. But be careful because you may know people who are getting ready to jump off the cliff of no return and you may need to intervene. That takes guts and you will very likely lose your friendship.

Gary Sweeten

I Need Another Funeral

I was able to attend a wonderful funeral/memorial service this week for an old friend and boss. Bill Nester died and his funeral at St. Timothy's Episcopal Church on Beechmont was the site of a wonderful, spiritually uplifting service.

First of all, it was liturgical and thus full of beautiful words, wonderful prayers and powerful scripture verses. Unlike the church of my childhood and my preferences today, a liturgical church leaves one breathless and inspired.

Second, there was Holy Communion. Hearing those wonderful words of consecration and taking the body and blood of Jesus provided a special inspiration for me.

Third, there is no doubt that Jesus Christ was Lord and that we are able to meet Him in heaven if we accept that truth. Unbelievers did not go away wondering if Bill Nester was an agnostic or spiritualist. The entire service made his faith in Christ plain.

Fourth, I was reminded of my own mortality and my need to serve Jesus while I can.

Thanks be to God for His wonderful reminders.

The Pressure of Culture

I had a great conversation today with Amy R. She works with women at Horizon Community Church and has a great ministry.

We chatted about the pressure we feel in our culture because of the Matrix-like nature of the ungodly aspects of our world. Perhaps it is no worse than in other times but we live in our times.

Another friend in ministry, Mark Lutz of the "Big Vineyard" described it best. He said something like, "It is like wrestling with one of those huge guys in Japan who weigh 300 pounds. All they have to do is lean on me and it wears me out. I get so tired of fighting the weight of the cultural sin."

I thought of that today when I heard that Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett had died. I had just spent most of my day at a Celebration of the Resurrection for Bill Nester. Dr. Nester had been my boss and mentor at the University of Cincinnati during mys six years on the staff. He was a giant among educators. He impacted multiplied thousands of young men and women, many of whom have gone on to be great educators and counselors themselves.

His life and death will not be noticed by many in the Matrix Media at Fox, CNN or ABC. They are obsessed with fame, fortune and notoriety not lives well lived. But Bill Nester did more, much more to elevate the level of thinking, nurture and the common good than all the movie stars and rock stars combined.

Obituary of Dr. William Nester

Dr. William R. Nester, the first chancellor of the University of Nebraska at Kearney and former vice president at the University of Cincinnati and Ohio State University, died Wednesday morning surrounded by his family at Hospice of Cincinnati in Anderson Township, following a long illness.


A longtime resident of Anderson Township, he moved to Bellevue about a year ago. He was 81.

"Dr. Nester was a wonderful teacher and friend," said Bill Keating Jr. of Mount Lookout. They had remained close since Dr. Nester was Mr. Keating's faculty adviser at UC back in the early 1970s. "He led by example and had a positive influence on all of us who had the honor to work with him over the years. Bill's influence will continue to benefit our community for generations to come."

A Cincinnati native, Dr. Nester was born on Feb. 19, 1928, to William Nester Sr. and Evelyn Nester. He grew up in Evanston and graduated from Walnut Hills High School. He held a bachelor's degree in education, a master's in counseling and guidance and a Ph.D. in higher education administration, all from UC. As a student he was a member of Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity and later served as its national president. He was also a member of Sigma Sigma, a service organization.

Dr. Nester also held honorary doctorates from Northern Kentucky University, the University of Nebraska at Kearney and UC. He received the William Howard Taft Medal for Notable Achievement, the highest honor given annually by the UC Alumni.

He had a 26-year career at UC, starting when he became director of the Student Union in 1952. He later served as dean of men, dean of students, and senior vice president for student and academic affairs.

In 1976 he became a founding member and first president of the Metro Six Athletic Conference.

Dr. Nester moved his family to Columbus in 1978 when he became vice president of student services at OSU. In 1983 he became the seventh president of Kearney State College. He led the college's move into the University of Nebraska system and became the first chancellor of UNK.

In September, the university named the newest section of its "Living and Learning" complex after Dr. Nester.

He returned to Greater Cincinnati after retiring in 1993. Since then he has worked in administration and fundraising at Northern Kentucky University and served on the UCATS board.

A lover of jazz, he also hosted two programs on WOBO radio - "Fascinating Rhythm" and "Swing Time."

His wife of 55 years, Mary Jane Grossman Nester, died in 2005.

Survivors include: four sons, William Nester III of Fresh Meadows, N.Y., Mark Nester of Cumming, Ga., Brian Nester of Cincinnati, and Steve Nester of Maineville; and seven grandchildren.

A celebration of his life is 11 a.m. Thursday followed by a lunch and reception at St. Timothy Episcopal Church, 8101 Beechmont Ave. Anderson Township.

Memorial gifts are suggested to Nester Family Scholarship Fund, University of Cincinnati Foundation, P.O. Box 19970, Cincinnati, OH 45219.

Many people call themselves mentors today but few can really pull it off. Bill was able to really mentor yourng men and women and people all over the earth remember him with gratitude today.

Gary Sweeten

Father's and Children

It is a joy to live long enough to see your kids grow up and become lovingly successful. Take a look at my daughter's blog from last year when she gave me a great tribute and planned a wonderful birthday bash for my 70 Th.

Who are the Superstars?

I mentioned yesterday that Dr. Ralph Winters passed away. Today we get word that Ed McMahon died. In terms of doing the world good, which man had the greater impact?

Dr. Winter mobilized thousands of missionaries to take the good news to the world. He inspired tens of thousands of ministers and churches to be a blessing to those in need. He started a center for world missions, created a new way to think about outreach and developed plans so different mission groups could work together to have a great reach. He also wrote many books, numerous papers and spoke to millions while establishing a new college.

Ed McMahon served as a side kick for Johnny Carson. He appeared as a spokesperson for some brands and was seen many times on TV.

Which man was considered more newsworthy to the secular media? How does the world of news and entertainment decide what people are important? Are their values your values?

Gary Sweeten

A Giant Passes into Glory

Dr. Ralph winter, one of the most influential Christians in history and certainly in the modern era, went to meet Jesus face to face yesterday. Go to this site for a video and overview of his work.

Many years ago Karen, Julia, Timothy and I went to Pasadena where Dr. Winters was building The US Center for World Missions. They were just taking over the campus of an old Christian college in Pasadena that had been rented for some years by an Eastern Cult. The place was filled with evil spirits and I taught them how to clean the place up before moving all those studentsand leaders into the buildings.

Ralph and his wife Roberta were brilliant and cutting edge on ways to reach the world with a special emphasis on Unreached Peoples. Roberta is the very first person I ever saw who took a laptop with her to take notes at conferences and meetings. The story is that Ralph learned his theology lessons by reading and listening to roberta tell him what was said in class and she learned because she attended and did all the papers. That may be true or not but it would not shock me either way.

Dads are Important

Thanks, DAD!

I am very thankful for my dad. He taught me many valuable lessons and showed me how to be a man of responsibility, high ethics, morality and grace. Dad took up for the weak, the lowly and the hurting. He loved poor people and fought for them continually. This is what led him to be a strong union man.

Dad was also a strong Christian and as a result he was a strong churchman. He and Mother cleaned the church, kept the books,etc. Mother served as a Sunday school teacher for fifty years and Dad as a Deacon in our small Baptist Church in Ina, Illinois.They were pillars.

But that is not all. They served people in need and were actively involved in community activities as Christians. Mother led the money raising drive for Cancer every year and Dad was on the City Council and served at least one term as Mayor. (The example is an unappreciative citizenry led me to fore go a political career.)

Dad greatly understood the depth of sin. Because he understood the heart's deceitfulness he also understood the absolute necessity for grace. I thought Dad was a bit wacky when he spoke up about grace and mercy. He was almost alone in promoting it in our culture. Most people were Old Testament and legalistic who thought that "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth" was a command of Jesus.

Thanks Dad. Because of you I started to apprehend and comprehend grace as well as my sin. Now that I understand my sin I am beginning to accept God's grace and mercy.

Happy Fathers' Day

My father died a long time ago and i still miss him. Dad was a man of deep convictions and fervent likes and dislikes. He was a strong Democrat. No, I mean STRONG! (This photo was taken in 1971 with our son Timothy.)

But his convictions arose from having been poor, misunderstood, abused as a kid and abused by employers as an adult. At an early age, maybe 20, he lost two and a half fingers off his right hand in a manufacturing accident while working in Chicago. To hear him retell the story a million times the company wasn't very concerned with his pain or problems just the fact that his machine was idle for some time. Efficiency!

I crossed a picket line once. Just once. I was about nine and wandered across the picket line set up to protest unjust practices at a retail store in the County Seat, Mt. Vernon. We lived in the village of Ina, pop 300 just ten mils straight south from the city.

When dad was told by a man on the picket line that his second son had brazenly walked across that line Dad's shame rose up like the great speckled bird and descended upon my head like a hawk.

"Don't you know better than to cross a picket line? What's the matter with you boy? Have you lost your mind? All those men and women on that line SAW you. You sashayed across that line like you owned that scab store and made a fool out of me and my family.

Coming from a Union Family I had no excuse. I was supposed to have been as knowledgeable about union affairs as John L. Lewis, the head of the United Mine Workers. Being only nine and not thinking like a striking union man was a short cut to hell and my dad would have sent me there with a quick dispatch. So, I decided that becoming a deaf mute with a "face to the ground" look on my face was the best bet.

"Can't you hear me boy?! Explain yourself! Speak up!"


Dad did not really mean for me to speak up because there was no defense for being stupid and blind. Any nine year old kid from a union family would smell a strike for miles and I walked or sashayed right across the picket line like I owned the place.

So, silent shame was the best punishment. I prayed for a beating or a month in jail rather than the look of exasperation and complete shame in my dad's face and voice. Would we Sweetens ever be able to hold our heads up in public again? Had I so humiliated the Sweeten Clan that people would start whispering that we were secret REPUBLICANS?

What drastic penance would be demanded, silently of course, from our clan? Shame faced depression for two decades might assuage the guilt but to show just how callous I was a nine I never learned what price dad had to pay for my sin. So, I was forced to leave southern Illinois and come to Ohio where no one knows of my families generational sins. They are safely left behind.

Gary Sweeten

PS Please don't ask my brothers about this infamous affair lest it cause them to redouble their political activities for the Socialist Workers' Party.

Empathy versus Enabling

Drug and alcohol addictions are rampant and seemingly growing in America and the rest of the world. One bad way to try to help an addict is to feel sorry for them and bail them out when they get into trouble.

Several years ago during the time I was still doing Clinical Counseling I was called by a Pastor who asked me to contact a family whose thirty year old son was a chronic addict. The parents had spent all their money and even mortgaged their family home to chronically bail the kid out of trouble.

My discussion with her unfolded why the parents were broke and the son was still addicted.

Mother: Dr. Sweeten, what can I do? My son is in jail and they are insisting that he go to a treatment center.
Gary: How many times has this happened?
Mother: Many times.
Gary: What have you done before?
Mother: We have paid his fine and got him an apartment.
Gary: Did it work to help him change his behavior?
Mother: Well, his life has been difficult. His ex wife left him and took the kids. So, he started doing drugs again.
Gary: So, it did not work to stop him from drinking and doping again.
Mother: The poor boy hasn't had a chance.
Gary: So, you feel sorry for him?
Mother: I feel so badly when he is in trouble.
Gary: Mrs. Johnson, you had better stop feeling so sorry for you son unless you kill him. What you are doing is called "Enabling or Co-Dependence". In order for a person to be an addict there must be an enabler.
Mother: (Crying) But I can't be so cruel and let him stay in jail with all those criminals. I love him too much.
Gary: What you are doing the Bible calls hate not love. It will eventually kill him unless you stop. You and your husband need to attend Al Anon, a group for families with an addicted relative. Al Anon teaches relatives how to understand their loved ones but stop enabling them. Mrs. Johnson, you need treatment more than your son. Call me after you go to Al Anon.

Gary Sweeten

Beautiful Chapel Design

You have to see this chapel as a great design that is inspirational and creative as well as inexpensive.

How to Communicate Effectively

I am still learning how to communicate. My friend Michael Cristiani has discovered a net technology that turns cold, hard numbers into visuals and makes the data come alive.

One of Michael's links is for Gapminder, a Swedish Professor's way of visualizing information that is amazing and insightful. I suggest you go to the link and enjoy how he presents his insights.

Michael also links to a site that uses Tableu technology to show his insights. It is fascinating.

I hope Pastors and Christian leaders will begin to use these technologies to train Believers how to track changes and how God is working in our midst. I am hoping Michael can train us to use Tableu to show the results of our research study on the felt ways we can support parents with special needs kids. Take a look at our updated web site to read more about the project.

www.sweetenlife.com

African Hope

Many of us have prayed for Africa and sent money to support the ministries there. The American government has sent trillions of dollars to help Africa. How has it worked?

My good friends just returned from a ministry trip to Africa. They are deeply compassionate people and spend money and time giving themselves to help people in need. They returned beaming with warm remembrances of the people but faces lined with worry about the future of Africa.

According to my them, there are Non-Governmental Organizations on every corner. Most of them are dispensing money, medical services, advice and comfort to the people. They and Government Groups have been doing this for several centuries yet the situation is unimproved and even worse. Why?

It reasons are simple. The top leaders are corrupt. They despise their own people and see that as long as the people are poor, sick and traumatized the western nations will send them money. So, it pays to have sick, miserable people.

Take a look at this web site for some insights about what will help Africa.

Sex and Marriage

All of us can see the growing disintegration of traditional family life. It is occurring all around us and the long term consequences are dire. The primary reason why America and Europe have been the leaders in world economics comes from our tradition of Christian faith and its support of marriage, family life and hard work.

Over the past few years Europe and America have abandoned the value of sex only withing marriage. It is obvious that sex outside marriage has occurred forever, but only recently has it become acceptable by the media, politicians and even some church spokespersons.

A new term has even been invented to describe what is happening in the media and among the youth. The term is, Hooking Up" and means that men and women have sex without any pretense of caring for each other let alone a commitment to each other.

While an Associate Dean at the University of Cincinnati i listened to a "famous" author from Yale University who traveled from campus to campus spreading his message of free and open sex. Like Johnny Appleseed, the famous evangelist of an earlier era, this man was planting seeds that would grow and produce a very lively crop.

Although I can't remember the man's name but he made millions of dollars and ruined millions of lives by telling college kids what they desperately wanted to hear. Namely that sex is just like breathing and it would be crazy to restrict either.

I can only hope that man has come to faith in Christ and repented of his gross sins because there must be a special place of heat reserved for him and his ilk.

The "sex education" classes at UC were also hot beds of hot beds. I know of many young men who took those classes over and over again just to meet the female students who were being stripped of their mental reservations about sex outside marriage. Those profs knew what was going on and happily took part in the charade of education while promoting what is essentially rape of unsuspecting young girls.

Why aren't we doing a better job of telling about the cost to women of these ideas? Why do we let old men teach such destructive myths and pay them with our taxes?

New Grant Coming for Marriage Mentoring

Sweeten Life systems and Hope for Cincinnati will co-sponsor another all day seminar on August 20. Tune in for more information as it develops.

Nathaniel Lett of Beech Acres asked us to consider another training session like the one we did two years ago and we said, "YES SIR!"

If you or one of your friends wants to learn how to Mentor Marriages and help them get healthier, contact me.

gary@sweetenlife.com

Earthquakes Visualized

Take a look at this link to see a beautiful graphic of where earthquakes occur.

No Comments on Empathy

Any takers on what Mr. Obams means when he sues the term empathy to describe the characteristic he wants in a judge?

I want a judge who will see my pitiful condition and let me out of jail because she feels pity for me. What do you want? Is Obama as narcissistic as I?

Understanding Empathy

A good part of my doctoral dissertation focused on getting to the bottom of what is most powerful to bring about healing and growth in people seeking assistance. As a Counselor I called these folks, CLIENTS. However, in the world of change it is anyone seeking assistance to alter a behavior.

One of the most important aspects of healthy Helping is EMPATHY. Mr. Obama said he was looking for a judge who would be "Empathetic" with the poor and downtrodden. What did he mean?

Possibility 1. Empathy means to feel the pain of the poor. It means to identify with their plight and act to relieve it with favorable rulings.

Possibility 2. Empathy means to understand the poor and accurately describe it in a way that they know they are understood.

What think you? Did Obama want Ms. Sotomayor to actually "Feel the pain of the poor and try to relieve it with special rulings in their favor" or "Accurately understand their plight but apply the law with justice?

Gary Sweeten

Empathy: What is it?

Mr. Obama says he wanted to pick a Supreme Court nominee with "empathy". He seems to think empathic judges will know the law better and make decisions that favor "the little guys not the big guys and gals".

What do you think about his philosophy of judging?

What do you think about his definition of empathy?

What do you think bout Judge Sotomayor?

Let me hear your comments.

Gary Sweeten

The Best Layed Plans of Iran have Gone Away

Time Mag has printed an interesting article about how Iran's hard line actions are killing marriages and upsetting young people.

This is why it is impossible to predict the future.

What is Important?

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

All the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself, adds no quality to the coffee in most cases, just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups...and then began eyeing each other's cups.
Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."
God brews the coffee, not the cups..........enjoy your coffee.

Gary Sweeten

Seminar on Faith History

 

May 28 was a great day to interact with God and one another while learning about ourselves. The all day seminar led by Jens-Petter Jorgensen, our dear friend from Norway, touched deeply the hearts and souls of sixteen Christian leaders who sacrificed a day to grow in the love and fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

We received positive comments from a high percentage of participants. Most wanted more on this topic so they can lead others in the sam process.

Go to www.sweetenlife.com for more about us.

We shall follow up with other day long events to facilitate the growth and healing of lay and ordained leaders. Send your suggestions for topics to gary@sweetenlife.com

Poverty and Christians

What social needs are churches supposed to meet? Are we supposed to eliminate Hunger, Homelessness, Abortion, Addiction, violence, Adoption, Pornography, Domestic abuse, Divorce,Ignorance,?

Which are we to focus on at church and in life? The answer is: YES.

But the core of these issues is a lack of salvation and mature Christians.

Here in Cincinnati, we are seeing an increase in deadly conflicts among young men and women. Almost daily we get images of families crowding around a crime scene weeping and wailing about the loss of a child or young person.

Many of the comments coming from the adults call on God and ask for His protection, yet the ones involved in the killings seem clueless to God's love and life. Another thing is missing: Males. Rarely do we see males in these photos. I would be willing to bet that over 90% of the youth involved in these killings came from homes where the father was absent most of all of their lives. I hope someone can prove me wrong.

Salvation is not enough. We must also have changed lives that bring dads back into the families they have fathered. Unfortunately, we have spawned a culture of polygamy without marriage and children without love. The rule is too often "hooking up" sexually and fathering a child with no personal responsibility to rear that child or model personal responsibility to him or her.

With abortion we also see a culture of death and despising children. The pro death politicians and feminist ideologues have brought such evil upon our nation that it is almost impossible to stop the carnage. We Christians must pray hard to reveal this deception and regain the culture of love, life and nurture we once enjoyed.

My dad had a favorite saying about this. "When we remove sex from marriage we will see the men become tom cats who kill their offspring and show no love to their partners." My dad was a prophet and it will get much worse in the years ahead.

We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against the principalities and powers and spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:10 ff

Our enemy is not Obama or even the NARAL groups that promote killing and death.

Why is Mr. Obama Popular

Do you ever wonder why polls show President to be so popular despite his reckless, power hungry behavior? Maybe I have a partial answer. Many citizens of the United States are pretty ignorant about our history, values and traditions to say nothing of our laws.

For example, I was discussing the last election with a friend and mentioned that almost half the people in America pay no income tax. He called me a right wing liar. But it it true. I also told him that there is no money in the Social Security Trust Fund. He called me a right wing liar. It is also true.

A recent survey the 2008 Civic Literacy Report, write Patrick M. Ford, americancivicliteracy@mail2.isi.org, reveals that many Americans are unaware of the most basic aspects of our nations political system.

1. Nearly a third of the respondents failed to name two of America's enemies in World War Two; 22% of college graduates did not answer that question successfully.

2. Only 53% knew that congress retains the power to declare war. Nearly 40% believed this power belongs to the president--a finding with obvious perennial relevance.

3. 54% of respondents (and only 44% of 18- to 34-year-old) knew that Congress shares foreign policy power with the president; nearly a quarter (and almost a third of elected officials!) believed Congress shares such power with the United Nations.

4. Only 41% of Americans, and 53% of college graduates, could recognize that free enterprise or capitalism exists insofar as "individual citizens create, exchange, and control goods and resources." 17% of respondents thought that free enterprise or capitalism is a system in which "government implements policies that favor businesses over consumers.

This reveals once again that our voters are woefully ignorant so no wonder they support the current policies. Write to Mr. Patrick M. Ford americancivicliteracy@mail2.isi.org to get the entire report.

Also see this report for information about the nation's laws.

Gary Sweeten

Dr Tiller's Killer

A very interesting post by a pro abortion writer can be found online at the National Post.

We have seen over 40,000,000 babies intentionally killed by abortion doctors since 1973. That is more than all the people killed by Hitler and all those killed by Stalin. Chairman Mao, of course, has the record of killing over 100,000,000 million Chinese.

But 40,000,000 people is a lot of men and women who would be working in American jobs, going to college and providing for their families. The western world of Europe and America are facing a critical shortage of people. Much of that shortage can be blamed on aggressive aborters and Left Wing Politicians.

But, don't worry, that will change because the vacuum of people in Europe and the USA are being replaced by Muslims, Latinos, Chinese and Indians. These people usually love their families and will not kill their offspring. So, the future will be led by Conservatives. Obama will be listed as a brutal dictator and George Bush will be considered a hero.

Dr. Tiller will be considered like Mengele.

Gary Sweeten

Gay Marriage Acceptance or Agreement?

The topics filling the media today are all about love, acceptance and outreach. It seems that anyone who seems to take a stand that smells slightly of uncaring is accused of being a Pharisee. The book, "No Perfect People Allowed" has hit this nerve among many Ministers and they are filling sermons and blogs with strong words about accepting everyone regardless of their spiritual condition.

For example, take the case of gay marriage. Since I don't think it is a good idea to have men marrying men and women marrying women, I am attacked by some as a person that is not accepting other people. Thus, disagreement about "Agreement" is framed as an issue of "Acceptance".

Let me use an analogy. I accept persons from every nationality and culture. I am kind to them, I can enjoy their company and I would do nothing to harm them. I think immigration is a positive thing in our country and hope we open the borders to people from around the world.

Here is my lack of agreement. I do not agree that illegal aliens ought to receive the rights reserved for citizens. This lack of agreement would lead some to call me a racist and uncaring person. The ability to work in America is a privilege not a right. Citizens are supposed to receive certain benefits that aliens do not receive.

Now, back to gay marriage. I care for gay people as persons and treat them with respect. (This is a better term than acceptance.) I would do them no harm and every gay person that is a citizen ought to be treated equally under the law. However, the laws ought not be changed so men can marry men and women can marry women.

I worked among the polygamists in Asia and Africa. I respected them and taught them to care for each other. However, I would not agree to change American laws to permit polygamy. The Muslims I worked with were, for the most part, warm, wonderful people and I became friends with many of them. If they came to America I would not agree with their having four wives.

Thus, to use the term preferred by many current writers, I "accept" polygamists as persons but I strongly disagree with their sexual preferences and marital policies. In that same vein, I "accept" homosexuals but I disagree with their sexual and marital preferences.

Gary Sweeten